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34 Of Craig Charles's Greatest Robot Wars Rhymes

The greatest presenter we've had on these shores, signed off with a poem, on Robot Wars

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I have so much love for whoever meticulously curated the Robot Wars wiki.
BBC / Via

I have so much love for whoever meticulously curated the Robot Wars wiki.

34. Your Dad might hit the ceiling when he hears the football scores, he'll do himself a mischief, watching Robot Wars!


33. From the show that's bigger than Roseanne's drawers, goodnight, God bless, from Robot Wars!


32. If you need a potion that hair restores, you’re too old, for robot wars!


31. You don’t need spots or boils or sores, to be a fan of robot wars!


30. You don't need spots, or boils, or sores, and you can't wear an anorak, on Robot Wars!

S6E10- omg self plagiarism, the internet has found you out, Charles.

29. In days of old, people feared outlaws, but now they fear robots, on Robot Wars!


28. We've got our own rules, and we've got our own laws, but controversy rules on Robot Wars!


27. Who cares about the Ozone, or if the ice cap thaws, we're environmentally unfriendly, on Robot Wars!


26. It’s the show that Alice Cooper ignores; he can’t do heavy metal like Robot Wars!


25. James Bond had his fun with Pussy Galore, but he only got her eyes, out of Robot Wars!"


24. The only thing I can say is, cue the applause, you've been watching, Robot Wars!


23. We've got more presents than Santa Claus, and the beards are real, on Robot Wars!

S2E11 slightly odd because this episode aired in February

22. Well, you can ask for robot presents off Santa Claus, but you better ask for mercy, on Robot Wars

S4E2 another Santa reference in an episode that aired no where near Christmas

21. Godzilla devoured 40 floors, but we cut him down to size, on Robot Wars!


20. If a tiger gets angry, he'll show his claws, but we'll show you flamethrowers, on Robot Wars!


19. When the terminator sits down after finishing his chores, he has a hand full of pizza, and he watches Robot Wars!

MGM / Via


18. You can smell the cowpats in the great outdoors, it's like the smell of fear, on Robot Wars!


17. I've heard a few wolf whistles and a good many phwoars, 'cause it's only good-looking robots, on Robot Wars


16. Folks complain about the dome, and other eyesores, but we like getting ugly, on Robot Wars

S5E3 cheeky out-dated pop-culture reference there

15. Humans replaced the dinosaurs, but the next stage of evolution's, Robot Wars

S6E8 Not sure that's how evolution worked but never mind

14. Well it's off to the garage, and the electrical stores, to repair the damage, from Robot Wars!


13. One of my favourite bands was The Doors, but we'll really light your fire, on Robot Wars!


12. Dim the lights, cue the applause, you've been watching, Robot Wars!


11. The crowds go mad when Robbie Williams soars, but it can’t match the screamin’ on Robot Wars!


10. Well once again, Tornado has blown through the doors, destroying all in its path, on Robot Wars!

S6E7 In the final series, Charles would sometimes reference the winning robot in his poems. HOW COOL IS THAT!

9. You know what they say about Mother-in-Laws, but mine's not half as scary, as Robot Wars!


8. When my gran's watching telly, she normally snores, but she's shouting "bash 'em senseless", on Robot Wars!


7. Forget about bull-fighting, and those brave matadors, 'cause we always see red, on Robot Wars!


6. We break health and safety laws, we’re on fire, we’re robot wars!


5. Well for international relations, that fight insured, that all is fair in love, and Robot Wars!

UK Vs Germany special

4. I’ll show you my robot, you show me yours, the biggest one wins, on robot wars!


3. It's the only show Uri Geller adores, because we do twist metal, on Robot Wars!


2. If there's one thing that your television license ensures, It's robot mayhem, on Robot Wars!


1. They say it never rains, but it always pours, but we reign supreme, on Robot Wars!


And at the end of each series, Craig and Phillippa Forrester would do a duet along the lines of

Craig Charles: "They don't like losing!"

Philippa Forrester: "They don't like draws!"

Craig Charles: "We've found a winner, on Robot Wars!"

Both: "Goodbye!"

Orange telephone magazine / Via

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