My friends and I were celebrating being single on Valentine’s Day which naturally meant getting shit-faced into another dimension. The night began by pre-gaming heavily on Fireball. I think I took a shot with every person who walked through the door which meant around 9 shots and a couple of beers because, what better occasion to celebrate, right?! Next, we all went to a bar called Monkey Pants, where the monkey-business definitely began. I started groping my friends’ asses as they tried to play pool and drinking others’ drinks as they weren’t looking. So, let’s add a couple more shots and beers to the mix, shall we? The rest that follows is all hearsay as I was totally smashed to smithereens at that point. Our DD told me her logic was to take us to a more popular bar district because I was too drunk and causing chaos at the smaller bar, Monkey Pants. She takes us in her car to “Mill Ave” which is the bar district closest to Arizona State University (which at this point implies the level of crazy-drunk-ass-mothafuckas). As we slow down in the bumper-to-bumper traffic, I apparently crawled out of her moving vehicle and disappeared into the night. The next morning I woke up naked in someone else’s bed at 5AM!!! They finally had realized I was there and that person freaked out and threatened to call the cops on me for breaking an entry! (not for like being naked or anything more strikingly obvious). Dazed and confused, I found my clothes, got dressed, and ran out. Most interesting Valentine’s Day… so far.