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10 Ingredients For The Not So Perfect Girlfriend

BUT perfect girlfriend for your Bitchass. Part 2 of 2

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Let's get to Cooking like Professor


You can’t build a relationship if there isn’t that chemistry but let’s be honest, that chemistry is really just that sexual desire that we crave as soon as we meet with someone we fancy.

We all participate in tinder in a way. As you walk past people in the city or if you straight up have the app. Either way, we are constantly swiping right or left on people. (I mean…that’s how I was blessed with the man I have.)

Let’s face it, the first thing you noticed when seeing someone is their physical traits. From there it’s the need to go on this chase to conquer.

1. SEX


You should make the effort to please your significant other. Always flirt and make it feel like you’re still trying to win him over. Never allow him to feel like he’s not wanted. And girls, please stop trying to make your boyfriend jealous when you feel some type of way. This isn’t gossip girl and y’all are not Chuck and Blair where you two can play these sex games.

Really spice things up and surprise him here and there with some kinky or sexy lingerie underneath your clothes on a hot date. Just keep it interesting for them but “make sure you're doing it to keep your interest and not out of fear of losing his” – S to B (Well said S *insert clapping hands emoji here*).

2. Explore WITH Dora


Be the Boots in the Relationship

Do things you normally wouldn’t do.

Don’t be afraid to try out his interest and go on an adventure.

“A lover of the great outdoors cuz I like hiking and ish” – JV

“Guys like it when you’re up for anything anytime” –EP

Get out of that comfort zone and allow yourself to lose yourself in his interest.

It could be that he likes hard core metal, try it, the only thing you’ll get out of it is a headache but that smile on your boyfriend’s face is priceless and he’ll love you more for giving the things he likes a chance. (Ask JP, he knows) Learn to play a video game or learn his favorite sport to play with him, this will show that you actually care for his hobbies and take interest in him.

3. Make an Effort


Get to know who your boyfriend is.

Don’t just expect your boyfriend to come up with all the dates. Plan dates and take him to places you know he’ll love. Show that you are aware of his interest and take his likes into consideration.

When his birthday comes or when it’s a special holiday; gifts show that you pay attention to him. Make the effort to really gift him with something he’ll never forget and actually use. Showing him that you took your time to think about him and really try to make him feel exceptional.

4. Building Blocks of Trust


This is so important y’all, that I made the word important bold. I cannot stress this enough. (and I know I’m the one to talk but it’s a constant battle for me). Ladies don’t make your boyfriend wonder where the hell you are, don’t wait for them to ask you what you are doing.

Text him, call him, notify him of your whereabouts, if you’re always open with him, then there’s no reason he’ll doubt what you say.

“Make sure they feel like you have their back and vice versa.” –GT

Respecting is preached from left to right but not reflected enough. Girls should not only respect themselves but respect who they are with.

Don’t play mind games and always allow the other to speak their mind with no judgements.

Respect the fact that you are in a relationship and not keep a wondering eye. That’s not okay. Talk highly about your partner and don’t let him down. It’s not respectful to talk negatively about your man, this just proves that you’re an inconsiderate B that doesn’t respect or care for your partner.

If you only tell your friends all the bad things that happen between you and your man, you better believe that your friends see him as a POS boyfriend, when in reality, he’s not.

Understanding one another is important, let the other talk and put yourself in their shoes. Try to see things from their perspective, this comes in handy, especially when disagreeing.

All in all, respect the man you are with.

6. Su Casa Es Mi Casa

Your friends are my friends. Your Family is my Family.

Girls are catty, it’s human nature. You can’t force us to be friends with other girls that we didn’t intend on making friends with. It’s basically a danger zone to have your girlfriend and your girl best friend to meet forcefully. But I won’t get into that.

Girls should be comfortable with his friends and make the effort to befriend them. This also includes his family members. (ohhh, scaryyyy)

Girls, make sure that you’re not as bitchy or bring bad energy to the environment when you're around his friends or family. It’s hard to enter a zone that you’re not comfortable with, but just roll with the punches. Fake it til you make it!

Also, if he likes your friends, bonus points! Don’t be afraid to show him who your friends are or who your crazy family members are. After all, if you see a future with him, you best believe all of your friends and family AND his are getting together at events like maybe your wedding (if it gets to that point)…aweee.



Ugh! I hate compromises, like why can’t I have it my way and das it. Well I’m not that lucky and neither are you. There is no way you two will agree on every little thing, so you better start practicing how to agree to disagree and come to a halt to compromise on any matter or issue.

This can be where you want to eat, where in this world you both would like to move (if it gets this serious), what kind of fur babies you would like, or maybe who will be doing the driving on the trip. So many things, as a couple, that you have to come to an agreement with. That there is no doubt that you two won’t bicker like an old couple.

This is where it’s important to show that you’re not this crazy and self-center B, that you secretly are. How you react to a situation can prove how strong you are or how weak you are in the relationship. Be aware of how people are willing to act when they are in a predicament, it says a lot about their character.

8. Miss Independence


Get you a woman that is self-motivated.

Someone that has a strong head and goes after what she wants and doesn’t quit until she has it.” –EP

Ladies don’t depend on a man for NOTHING, make sure you are emotionally, financially, and physically strong enough to take care of you! Don’t become one of the girls that Kayne sings about.


9. Smart Talking (Intelligence / Communication)

You may have the looks but do you have the brains? Ladies make sure you can hold a conversation. No one wants to sit facing a wall.

Be confident! Talk about what you know and keep the conversation flowing.

I’m not saying you have to be Einstein or be an Oscar “actually” from the office, but do your research or ask questions to keep the conversation going.


Communication is essential in any relationship. Make sure to not only converse with one another but as well as know how to communicate with one another. This includes reading body language and understanding what your partner wants.

Communication is key in a relationship!

Say what’s on your mind! NEVER hold back anything (but choose your battles, don’t start shit for kicks and giggles, that shit is annoying AF.

10. Don't Take His Love for Granted


"Don't be afraid to love again, he's not your ex"

It doesn’t take but a second to appreciate your partner. Ladies, tell your man he looks “so fineeee, dayyyummmm (;” in that new t-shirt he bought. Notice the little things they do!

Celebrate everything you can together! (I don’t know, but as a Colombian, we love to celebrate every little thing). Do that with your partner, make them feel extraordinary. Show them that “HE IS THE MAN” and make him feel like what he does is important and noticed.

Thank you Lexi, Mariana, and G for helping me look over and edit.
Also for all the boys...excuse me, I mean men in my life for helping create the perfect recipe for the perfect girlfriend for your bitchasses. Love you all! <3

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