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Undeniable Proof That Italians Are Better At Christmas Food

It's a celebration of carbs, basically. Mangia!

While Dylan McDermott and all other non-Italians are busy eating turkey on Christmas...

Hughes Entertainment

You just had turkey for Thanksgiving. What's the prob? You didn't have enough leftovers?

Italians are eating pasta. And lots of it.


That's pasta with clams, in case your mouth starts to water with questions.

It all starts on Christmas Eve with the Feast of the Seven Fishes, or โ€œEsta dei Sette Pesci.โ€

And by "Feast of the Seven Fishes," I'm talking about fish pasta, like puttanesca.

Flickr: stuart_spivack / Via Creative Commons

For those who haven't tried this dish โ€” and you MUST โ€” it's a sauce with olives, capers, anchovies, and tomatoes. It's also topped with cheese, but if it's Italian then that's pretty much a given.

And pasta with lobster.

Flickr: budibudz / Via Creative Commons

Usually this one comes sans the thick tomato sauce. Lobster goes perfectly well with the spaghetti, some black pepper, salt, and garlic.

It also means spaghetti with mussels...

Flickr: 55955607@N02 / Via Creative Commons

And cioppino, if you want to knock out a bunch of different types of fish in one pot.

It's a legit kettle of fish.

Basically, the night before Christmas, Italians just get to gorge on a bunch of absolutely fantastic fish.

Oh, and did I mention that you wash it all down with some fine Italian vino?

Then there's Christmas day. You ready for this? Because it starts with more alcohol.

After opening gifts, and before Christmas dinner even begins, there's the antipasto platter.

Flickr: alexa627 / Via Creative Commons

Think ham, capicola, prosciutto, salami, turkey, provolone and pecorino cheeses, black olives, artichoke hearts, red roasted peppers, and vinegar peppers. So many things.

Which is served with some fresh Italian bread, like ciabatta, pane Siciliano, focaccia, or pane di Lariano.

Flickr: mhaithaca / Via Creative Commons

Make sure to save room and not load up on bread, because this is only the beginning of the carb fest.

Next, it's time for the main event โ€” dinner โ€” which means it's time to BRING ON THE MEATBALLS.

Much like the Feast of Seven Fishes, Christmas day is basically the Feast of Meats, like braciole and pasta.

Flickr: 29183526@N06 / Via Creative Commons

Braciole is a thin slice of meat that's typically wrapped around a stuffing, cooked with wine, and tossed over pasta. It will make you forget the meatballs ever happened, then weep with tears of joy.

And lasagna!

Flickr: bittermelon / Via Creative Commons

Anyone who loves nice things loves lasagna. Italians just get to have it every Christmas. And a lot of other times, because we are just that awesome.

Instead of sides of mashed potatoes, we have sides of pasta, and sausage, and homemade sauce.

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: dianaschnuth

Just stating the facts, folks!

After dinner settles, while Dylan McDermott eats pie, we eat struffoli.

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: denatale

Struffoli is like a munchkin doughtnut, but smaller and tastier. It's lemony dough that's fried, then covered with honey and sprinkles. Beat that, pecan pie!

And cannoli.

Flickr: lusterb / Via Creative Commons

Sicilians brought us some amazing things, including the inspiration for The Godfather series and cannolis. These ricotta-cream pastries are surrounded by a fried shell and often include chocolate chip morsels.


Flickr: churl / Via Creative Commons

Ladyfingers, cocoa, heavy cream, and espresso are just a few of the ingredients in this dessert. Drooling yet?

And sfogliatelle.

Flickr: melaniewong / Via Creative Commons

Looks pretty cool, right? All of those pastry layers surround an almond or ricotta filling, typically.

And so many rainbow cookies that you might go colorblind.

Flickr: cmckane / Via Creative Commons

And like all good Italians, the meal ends with fruit, more spumante, and panettone.

Creative Commons / Via Flickr: thepanz

Panettone is a type of sweet bread made with oranges and currants. Sort of like our version of fruit cake, only better.

So, what I'm saying is this: Would you like to come to my Italian Christmas dinner?

You look like you could use some pasta right about now.