You don't buy your cat "nice" things anymore.
If you're opening the fridge, you're also letting the cat in.
When this nonsensical thing happens:
Or when your cat barfs on the one thing they shouldn't barf on.
There is no "your food" anymore, there's only what the cat lets you eat.
Same goes for "your personal space":
One does not simply sneeze anymore.
And you really don't need an alarm:
Because you've probably woken up to this:
This terrifying reality:
And when you literally can't understand the cat logic.
You see butt wiggles on a regular basis:
And you've learned your lesson the hard way:
Lint rollers = Life changing.
You've often become freaked out because your cat will stare intently at NOTHING for whole minutes.
Even so, you're still obsessed with cats.
Because you know they're the superior species.