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The Most Honest Wedding Invitation You'll Ever See

"Will attend and will bring a date, even though the invite offered no indication that I could bring a date."

Are you a planning a wedding? Cancel it. Because nothing will ever top this wedding invite.

Here's a closer examination of the invite:

ATTENDANCE: "Will Say I Plan To Attend, Then I Won't Show Without Any Explanation"

BEHAVIOR: "Will Make An Unsolicited Toast That Makes Ample Use Of The 'F-Word' And A Few Choice Uses Of The 'C-Word'"

GIFTS: "Can't Wait To Regift The Shit Out Of The Hideous Duvet Cover You Gave Me At My Wedding"

MEAL CHOICE: "I Have So Many Food Allergies You'll Wonder How I'm Still Alive"

The only thing I'd add is a write-in comment section, really.