Are you a planning a wedding? Cancel it. Because nothing will ever top this wedding invite.
Here's a closer examination of the invite:
ATTENDANCE: "Will Say I Plan To Attend, Then I Won't Show Without Any Explanation"
BEHAVIOR: "Will Make An Unsolicited Toast That Makes Ample Use Of The 'F-Word' And A Few Choice Uses Of The 'C-Word'"
GIFTS: "Can't Wait To Regift The Shit Out Of The Hideous Duvet Cover You Gave Me At My Wedding"
MEAL CHOICE: "I Have So Many Food Allergies You'll Wonder How I'm Still Alive"
The only thing I'd add is a write-in comment section, really.
