You have goals that are entirely related to wine.
And there's a place for people who don't drink with you, it's called "The Trash."
For whatever reason, other people just don't seem to get that your love for wine is endless.
But the truth is you're a better person when you have a full glass, in general.
You know this is one of the worst things that can happen to a person:
But you've figured out ways to get around that bad shit.
You've definitely burned some serious calories with wine.
And every time you try to be "good" and "not drink," the pull of wine is just too strong.
Wine has a way of making you feel fancier than you actually are.
And it brings out your true self, even when you don't want it to.
You've invested a small fortune in all of the wine you drink. And you're OK with that.
It's only when someone questions your love of wine that you truly get rattled.
You have your own special routine when it comes to drinking wine.
Mainly because wine has been your longest relationship thus far, and that counts for something.