20 Things Every Twentysomething Is Tired Of Hearing

What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?! (And yes, I know what that is.)

1. “What do you really want to do with your life?”

Ugh: What I really want to do is just figure things out, and not have to deal with this ridiculous question.

2. “Did you buy that [INSERT ANYTHING HERE] with your OWN money?”

Ugh: Yes, and it was extremely difficult to do. I’m eating peanut butter and jellies for the next month, but now I’m the proud owner of a sofa bed.

3. “You could always move back in with your parents.”

Ugh: If I do have to move back in with my parents, can we please not ever talk about it or acknowledge it?

4. “You do want to get married eventually, right?”

Ugh: Yes? Maybe? I don’t know?! Stop asking!

5. “So, have you had a lot of different jobs?”

Ugh: Why, yes, I have. What of it?!

6. “Do you have health insurance?”

Ugh: Look, getting a job is hard enough these days, let alone one that gives you health insurance. So, no, maybe I don’t. But if I do, then EFF YES.

7. “You should check out Obamacare!”

Ugh: Thank you for this incredibly obvious suggestion.

8. “What’s a Snapchat? How does an Instagram work?”

Ugh: Ask someone younger, because the truth is I don’t get this shit either.

9. “Have you tried online dating?”

Ugh: Yes, I have. And I’ve got a lot of horrifying stories to prove it.

10. “So, people don’t meet IRL anymore?”

Ugh: Of course they do, this is America, damnit.

11. “When are you going to get a real job?”

Ugh: I’m working my ass off, bitch. ‘Nuff said.

12. “How many roommates do you have?”

Ugh: It’s not like I want to have them, but thank you for reminding me.

13. “How are you feeling about the big 3-0?”

Ugh: I don’t know! Funny thing, being in your twenties means you’re not 30 yet. So, I’ll get back to you when I hit that life hurdle.

14. “How much are you paying in rent?”

Ugh: A) You can’t just ask someone this question! B) The answer is too much for way too little.

15. “Your clock is ticking …”

Ugh: I get that. But if you really want to have that “can women have it all?” debate, I don’t have answers for you.

16. “Or you could always consider freezing your eggs …”

Ugh: Sure! Wanna pay for it?

17. “Do you have a lot of debt?”

Ugh: Yeah, again, this is America.

18. “You know, the right person will come around when you least expect it.”

Ugh: Bitch, I haven’t been expecting anything for the last five years and I’ve still got nothing.

19. “Why don’t you just get a real job?”

Ugh: Believe it or not, this is my real job.

20. “These are the best years of your life.”

Ugh: Really? “The best years”? You seriously don’t remember being in your twenties, and filled with constant anxiety, frustration, and nerves?

No, no, you’re right. They probably are the best years, but I won’t know that until I’m out of them, to be fair. (Twentysomethings, unite!)

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