The 16 Stages Of Thanksgiving, As Told By "Addams Family Values"
It's a day for maize, the Native American word for corn, a turkey dinner, and... brotherhood!
Stage 1: You wake up on Thanksgiving, excited to be with your family, celebrate, and eat until you pass out.
Stage 2: You go a little overboard with the planning and pick up double the pies you originally planned on. Because YOLO.
Stage 3: Your relatives arrive and you overhear one family member express disappointment about your current job/relationship status.
Stage 4: You decide that now is as good a time as any to fight about it.
Stage 5: But you remind yourself that this is just ONE DAY out of the entire year. YOU CAN DO THIS.
Stage 6: So you get the turkey all gussied up for the oven.
Stage 7: You stand in front of the oven for the next four to five hours, hoping that your close proximity will help it cook faster.
Stage 8: FINALLY! THE TURKEY IS READY!
Stage 9: Eat all of the things. All of them. Until there's nothing but a shell of yourself left.
Stage 10: You enter a complete and utter food coma euphoria like you've never experienced before.
Stage 11: The unthinkable happens, and you start to feel a little woozy in the midst of your second helping.
Stage 12: But you rally, because dessert is served!
Stage 13: Someone has brought their new SO, and they inevitably say something super awkward.
Stage 14: And you quietly find amusement at whatever relative decides to speak their mind after their fourth glass of wine.
Stage 15: You remember that your family isn't so bad, actually.
Stage 16: Satisfied, you return home, thankful that there will be another Thanksgiving NEXT YEAR.
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