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Jan 29, 2015

25 Super Bowl Snacks, Ranked From Worst To Best

Super Bowl food: It's a touchdown for your belly.

25. The ever-present party mix bowl

What is it even?! Well, it's homemade Chex Mix, which, while delicious when watching things on Netflix, is not really the main event of the Super Bowl. It's the thing you chew on while you pile other, better options onto your plate.

24. A legit bowl of nuts

Flickr: diekatrin / Via Creative Commons

Put these by the door so people can shove a handful into their mouths before moving on forever, essentially.

23. The unbearably healthy vegetable tray

22. Chocolate-dipped fruit

The saving grace of fruit at a Super Bowl party is that it's dipped in some kind of chocolate so that you almost forget it's fruit and not a cookie... Almost.

21. Deviled eggs

IMO, deviled eggs are divine. They're delightful and daring and plenty of other adjectives that start with "d." But they shouldn't be consumed at a party with other people, because egg farts.

20. Chili

The thing about chili is that you can't eat it with your hands (or maybe YOU can, who am I to judge?). But it's a complicated dish to serve: You need bowls, and spoons, and then you have to clean those. This is a nightmare for the people hosting the party, as well as the people who have to use the bathroom after you. (Talking about bean farts, folks.)

19. Cutesy football-inspired cookies

18. Any kind of chip bowl

17. A colorful bean dip

If only so that you have something to dip all those chips in! On its own, a bean dip is useless, though.

16. Truly loaded potato skins

Potato skins are pretty legit. It's carbs filled with bacon and sour cream and chives. What's not to like? Only problem is that these fill you up like WHOA, and the Super Bowl is more about eating as a slow burn, not a "oh shit, I ate this baked potato and now feel so full I might die" vibe.

15. Jalapeño poppers

Football is pain. Therefore, spicy poppers are a necessary sacrifice to become one with the game. Eat one, breathe fire, and then quickly move on to everything else.

14. Exquisitely soft pretzels and cheese dip

GOOD LORD. First of all, if someone at your Super Bowl party brings hot pretzels, it means they mean business. a) It will make you feel like you're eating stadium food, which is always a plus, and b) pretzels are delicious, especially when covered in cheese. Big win here as a side dish.

13. Mini football cupcakes

So small. So easy to just pop one, or a dozen, right into your mouth. These are better than the cookies, in that they feel fluffier and therefore lighter (allowing you to eat more of them), and perfect for halftime when you need the sugar boost.

12. Tiny sausages in a delightful glaze

11. Some warm garlic knots

Flickr: lonbinder / Via Creative Commons

If you hate garlic knots, then I simply don't want to know you. Pull them apart and let that garlicky bread melt in your mouth. These are great to eat before you start in on the pizza, and especially if there are dipping sauces to go around.

10. A sensible cheese ball

Sweet cheesus, there is just nothing not right about a cheese ball. It's cheese, but with other things on top of it. Cut off a chunk, dip some crackers or chips into it, and baby, you've got yourself a little slice of heaven.

9. Nacho cheese dip

8. Good and greasy mozzarella sticks

Flickr: irrezolut / Via Creative Commons

The Super Bowl is about football, obviously, but ya know what else it's about? Greasy, disgusting food that tastes so good on the way down and will make you wanna cry a little the next day. Enter mozzarella sticks: They've got cheese, breading, and are just all around fried goodness.

7. Pigs in a blanket of buttery heaven

It's a hot dog — which is about as football as you can get — but in mini form. There's nothing to not love about meat and bread, basically.

6. Nachos with all the fixings

Flickr: jeffreyww / Via Creative Commons

The great thing about nachos is that, yes, they are chips, but they're also smothered in cheese, beans, meat, and guac, making them completely acceptable as a meal. Plus, on Super Bowl Sunday, these are awesome to put on the table, directly in front of you, so you can just peel some into your mouth at your leisure.

5. The holy grail of sliders: chicken and waffle sliders

4. All other meat sliders

3. MAC AND CHEESE (caps needed)

"You can't spell 'Super Bowl' without 'cheese and noodles.'" —Jean-Claude Van Damme

It's your childhood, but with melted cheese on top. There just simply ain't no party like a mac and cheese Super Bowl party!

2. Pizza. Any kind of pizza.

Pizza is beautiful, because even a plain cheese one isn't plain at all: It's tasty as fuck. But then there are topping options! Pepperoni! Mushrooms! Burrata cheese! The possibilities are endless, and, if you're lucky, the slices at your Super Bowl party will be too.

1. Sticky, messy buffalo chicken wings

Flickr: mhaithaca / Via Creative Commons

::: angels sing an intro song ::: When you watch the Super Bowl, you want to watch it with your whole body, and part of that experience is getting your hands a little dirty. There's nothing quite like tearing into a chicken wing as someone scores a touchdown, or licking sauce off your face during the commercial break. Chicken wings are just the ULTIMATE in Super Bowl foods, and if you aren't serving them, you need to rethink your life choices. ::: angels sing an exit song :::

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