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23 Secrets All Whiskey Lovers Won't Tell You

Whiskey is like water, in that my body is made up of 60% whiskey.

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1. There is no worse place on earth than a bar that’s beer and wine only.

Warner Bros.

How do you live with yourself, bar? How?

2. In fact, you’ve canceled plans with friends who even suggest going to one.


Hi. We're not friends anymore. Bye.

3. You don't own an ice cube tray because your freezer is filled with whiskey stones, which are from heaven.


4. You also don't own “wine glasses," per say.

Hope you brought your own wine, bb.

Hope you brought your own wine, bb.

5. You know that doing laundry is exponentially easier when you have your BFF by your side.

Same goes for the dishes, cleaning the cat's box, and enduring a heat wave.

6. Sometimes you’ll say you’ve had “a hard day” just so you don’t feel bad about that second glass, or having whiskey for dinner.

7. Your go-to brunch drink is Irish coffee, hold the coffee.

Irish coffee with a double shot, please.

8. You bring whiskey as a "gift" to parties in the hopes that it will be opened immediately.


No thanks, I'm good over here in my corner with my bae.

9. Deep down you know that the way you like your whiskey (neat) is better than any other way to take it.

Whiskey with coke? You aren't a monster, are you?

10. The words, “We only have vodka," have actually made you dry heave.


11. You've secretly judged people who say whiskey is "hard to drink."

HBO / Via

Do you mean hard to STOP drinking, or...?

12. You’ve used whiskey as an incentive to do more work.

AMC / Via

"If I finish this thing, then I get a glass of that thing, so IMMA FINISH IT."

13. You decide where to have your birthday parties based on what kind of whiskey they serve.

14. You talk about Pappy Van Winkle so much that people assume it’s your grandpa.

And in a way, Pappy's been as good to you as a grandpa.

15. Most people have to slowly sip whiskey, but not you. Nope.

Columbia Pictures Corporation

16. You will not date someone who can’t handle their whiskey.

17. Like, any negative reaction to whiskey is a total dealbreaker.

Columbia Pictures Corporation / Via

18. And you’re probably not going to stay friends with anyone who thinks whiskey is gross.

19. You've described someone as "old fashioned" because you think it's a sincere compliment.

20. You know how to survive airports.

21. You look forward to Friday nights all week because it means you can take your pants off, pour some whiskey, and finally LIVE.

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22. You're perfectly content to spend a quiet evening alone: just you and your one and only.

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23. But the secret you know to be true above all others is that whiskey is your true soulmate, and you will marry it one day. / Via

When the courts recognize our love, my sweet, you will be mine for all eternity. <3

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