22 Reasons Why The Octopus Is The Biggest Badass In The Ocean

It isn't all fun and games in the animal world. What looks like a fun and squishy friend is a boneless fiend.

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2. An octopus is flawless, right down to those Zooey Deschanel doe eyes.

Flickr: neptunecanada

That's because an octopus's eye is similar structurally and functionally to our human eyes. It's the most complex eyeball among invertebrates!

5. Wanna know why an octopus's head is so big? It's FULL OF SECRETS (and about 500 million large neurons).

Flickr: joachim_s_mueller

The human brain, in comparison, has about 100 billion smaller neurons. An octopus can problem solve, find solutions to puzzles, and is capable of "conceptual thinking."

In other words: Don't try to beat these dudes at chess; you will LOSE.

6. Jack Kerouac stole his idea for On the Road from an octopus, probably.

Flickr: jdegenhardt

Octopuses are sooo not interested in company. They spend most of their time in solitude, living in little dens or under rocks. And they generally move locations every week or two.

11. Oh, they have a "burn book," all right. It's called, "IF I DON'T LIKE YOU I WILL EAT YOU."

Flickr: joachim_s_mueller

That's right, fellow octopuses, you better watch your damn back! Because an adult octopus isn't afraid to try and eat you if it's hungry. There was even a 2008 study that recorded a female octopus devouring her mate over a two-day period, after he'd just spent three and a half hours mating with her.

14. But while they seem like really awesome superheroes, they can also be incredibly horrifying. An octopus will give birth once in their lifetime. Between 20,000 and 100,000 eggs (depending on the species).

15. IF YOU HAVE SEX, YOU WILL GET PREGNANT. AND DIE.

Flickr: neptunecanada / Via wildwetcoast.wordpress.com

Soon after the eggs hatch, both the male and female octopus just stop living. THAT'S RIGHT. THERE IS NO "JOY OF PARENTING" HERE. Just death. Depressing death.

19. While an octopuses might seem like terrifying badasses, deep down they secretly have a playful side.

AFP

When they play with toys — and yes, they do play — they have their own responses, temperaments, and personalities.