22 Problems All People With Resting Bitchface Will Understand
I'm not mad, but my face is.
On the inside: You may feel like a bright ray of fucking sunshine.
But if you aren't smiling, people assume something is wrong.
And then they start to ask, "What's bugging you?" "What's the problem?" "Are you pissed?"
Or, "Why do you look so mad today? Are you mad at ME?!"
Which only turns your resting bitchface into ACTUAL bitchface, and that's some scary shit.
And then they tell you to SMILE, which is like...no.
That moment when you realize that you do indeed have CBF (chronic bitchface).
And it feels both empowering and unnerving.
Even when you're just trying to be polite, people take your face the wrong way.
So you have to explain that you're not mad, angry, or even bummed. That's just the way your face is.
The anger you feel when people think it's OK to say, "OMG, I thought you were a total bitch when I first met you!"
And when you get angry, you have to get extra angry so people take you seriously.
The stress of an important meeting and knowing you'll have to be extra peppy to compensate.
And the exhaustion that comes after faking a smile so people don't assume you're angry.
Knowing that when you go out and want to meet new people, they will think you're totally unapproachable.
Or when people assume that you're constantly judging them, and you have to reassure them that you're not.
People assume you're plotting revenge when you're just thinking about whether or not you should have another cookie.
Feeling the simultaneous need to apologize and also laugh for how your face is.
When you make a joke and people are "surprised" to find out that you actually have a sense of humor.
Trying to make your face give a fuck, but it just really REALLY won't.
But you also really love suffering from chronic resting bitchface...
Because in the end it's YOUR bitchface, and it's fucking fabulous.
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