Some background:
For those not in The Lord of the Rings know, the Uruk-hai are an advanced breed of orcs in the film and book series. In general, they're pretty mean, nasty, and wield a sword called a Scimitar. It's all very badass and terrifying.
Everyone, this is Zoe. Zoe, this is everyone.
Zoe recently bought an Uruk-Hai Scimitar, because she loves "Lord of the Rings" and is winning at life.
Because she's not currently in battle mode, she's found other uses for her new weapon, like making the bed.
And slicing bread.
Reaching peanut butter on this super high shelf.
Making coffee.
Getting the remote.
Fetching more toilet paper.
Serving as the groom in her own wedding to...the groom.
And just enjoying that first sip of java before heading out to work.
An Uruk-hai Scimitar: You'll never leave home without it!