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How Ron Swanson Are You?

In other words: How much whiskey and freedom have you had today?

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  1. Check all that apply, even though you hate everything about this:

    You've said the words, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have" at some point in your life.
    In fact, you refuse to enter any restaurant that doesn't have bacon on the menu.
    People who don't eat bacon are not, in fact, real people. They're bunny rabbits.
    Actually, a bunny rabbit sounds pretty delicious.
    The best types of sticks are the sticks that have meat on them.
    Fruit and vegetables are bullshit, basically.
    As is skim milk, which is just water posing as milk.
    In general, you don't care for most people.
    And one to three friends is all the friends you need.
    The best kind of party is one where there's plenty of food, and no other people.
    An ideal Friday night would be spent outside, next to a grill, and then eating whatever meat you cooked off that grill.
    The only times you've ever cried were at a funeral, and upon seeing the Grand Canyon.
    You like telling people "No," because it lowers their enthusiasm.
    And in general, you don't ask people questions, because you don't care about them.
    You do, however, like pretty, dark-haired women.
    Also? Breakfast food.
    You believe people who buy things are suckers.
    That's because you tend to make your own things.
    You've carved many things out of wood, for example.
    You know that honor, breakfast buffets, and property rights are some of the most vital parts of life.
    And you think Google Earth is an invasion of privacy that must be destroyed.
    When it comes to food, it's quantity over quality.
    And when it comes to teamwork, that's all fine and good, but TAKE WHAT'S YOURS.
    Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.
    There is no wrong way to consume alcohol.
    But whiskey is always best.
    The government is basically useless.
    And when it comes to your life choices, you regret nothing.
    To you, America is the most beautiful country in the world, because you're free to do all of the above things.

How Ron Swanson Are You?

  1. 1.


How Ron Swanson Are You?

You got: Zero Fucks Swanson

You literally don't care about anything, and Ron wouldn't have it any other way. Hell, you may have even refused to check off anything from this quiz. Which, by the way, is your American right. Keep on caring about nothing, it will get you far.

Zero Fucks Swanson Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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You got: Simple Man Swanson

You have simple pleasures in life, but those pleasures just happen to be the greatest ones around. Given the choice, you'd crawl off into a cabin in the woods with a bottle of whiskey and only get calls from the grocery store to let you know that more bacon has come in.

Simple Man Swanson
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You got: Pyramid of Greatness Swanson

YOU ARE RON SWANSON INCARNATE. You know what makes life and this country great, and our only hope is that you can impart your life lessons onto future generations. If you cared enough about other people to do that, you would, but as it stands, no, you'll just live the life YOU were meant to.

Pyramid of Greatness Swanson
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You got: Meat Tornado Swanson

You have just the right amount of Swansonian honor to get you far in life. Sure, some people may not like that. But fuck those people. You're Ron Fucking Swanson approved.

Meat Tornado Swanson
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