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How Much Do You Hate Going Out?

On a scale of 1 to You Want To Marry Netflix?

Posted on
  1. Check all that apply:

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    Taking off your pants means you’re in for the night.
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    You’ve canceled plans because it would require putting your pants back on.
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    You hate “getting ready” in general.
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    Going out is exhausting.
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    So is meeting new people.
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    You’re exhausted just thinking about it, actually.
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    Ignoring a text feels GOOD.
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    You've turned your phone off to avoid other people being able to reach you.
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    You reply "no" on paperless post invites, even if you're free that day.
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    You’ve claimed an email “must’ve gotten lost” in your inbox.
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    You’ve spent an entire weekend in your house and not left once.
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    Your favorite weekends are the ones you spend entirely in your house.
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    The words “club opening” sounds like “fiery gates of hell.”
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    Your favorite time of day is quittin' time, because it means you get to go home.
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    You rarely make plans during the week.
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    You refuse to make plans during the week.
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    If you stay out past 10 p.m., you feel like Ke$ha.
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    The moment you agree to go out, you immediately regret your decision.
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    Rain is an excuse to stay in.
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    But so is excessive sunshine.
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    A food coma is an excuse to stay in.
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    Or rather, wanting to be in a food coma.
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    You've told someone, "I forgot I made other plans..." even though you didn't have any.
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    You've also been "sooooo exhausted."
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    And you "got a flat tire."
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    When you say you have a headache, it’s more like a “headache.”
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    When you do go out, you do so because you already have a time in mind when you’ll leave.
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    You don't "do" lines.
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    You also don't wait for friends who are "running late."
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    You believe that dancing in your living room is better than dancing at a club.
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    You don't go to clubs. Ever.
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    Bars only interest you if there's food.
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    If there isn't food, you are basically like NOPE. NOT DOING THIS.
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    An ideal night would involve a couch and Netflix.
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    But more specifically: your couch.
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    Giant crowds look like a group of giant banshees.
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    You've stared lustfully at your bed.
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    You're tired just thinking about your bed.
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    You've referred to people who like to go out as "youths."
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    You'd rather brag about how much sleep you got, than how late you were out last night.
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    You bragged about that very thing at some point this week.
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    You've tweeted about how old you are, even if you aren't old at all.
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    People have called you the "grandma" of the friend group.
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    Even the thought of being in a room with other people makes you feel tired.
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    You often daydream about going home, pouring a glass of wine, and not talking to anyone for hours.
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    You're daydreaming about it right now.
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    Your anxiety about being out begins the minute you leave your door.
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    Your friends have stopped inviting you to things.
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    $15 martinis make no sense when you can drink at home.
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    Once your underwear is off, it's all over. That's not going back on.
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    If someone wants to get somewhere at 11 p.m., you are automatically out.
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    You've Instagrammed an old pic to make it look like you aren't home alone.
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    You start texting your friends at noon on Friday to say, "I feel a cold coming on."
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    Your friends have called you out for lying about being sick.
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    There are few things you hate more than having to get ready to go out.
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    You have the number of restaurants that deliver memorized.
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    You've stayed in or gone home because your phone is out of battery.
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    What you really want for your birthday is to stay in.
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    You will pay a cover charge over your dead body.
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    If you go out, you hide in the bathroom to pass time.
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    If you go out, you are literally ready to leave as soon as you get there.
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    You ask every hour on the hour if it's time to leave yet.
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    You insist on driving so you can leave when you want.
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    You also only go to something so you can then decline the next three invites.
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    If it's valet only, there is no way you're going.
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    If there's no valet, there's no way you're going.
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    Basically, you aren't going.
 
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