1. QUESTION: Is it even possible to be sexually attracted to cheekbones?
2. And more importantly: Is it legal?
3. ANSWER: Fuck yes it is, and it's delightful!
4. That sound your hearing is the fluttering of angel wings, because the closer you are to Mads' cheekbones the closer you are to God.
5. Go on, put your face closer to the screen to get a better look, I won't judge you...
6. Lick the screen, you say? You'd like to lick those high cheekbones until you find your happy place?
7. You know what, do it. Mads doesn't mind, and quite frankly: I'VE TRIED THEM AND THEY'RE DELICIOUS.
8. OK, yes, it's WRONG to objectify a man. I know, I'm terrible.
9. So let's stop focusing on his cheekbones and move on to the rest of his body... like his arms.
10. Or his hairy chest, which we saw when he took HIS EFFING PANTS OFF.
11. DAT CHEST DOE.
12. OK, OK. That got weird: back to cheekbones.
13. It's like his entire body is just HANGING off of those 'bones.
14. And he fucking OWNS. THAT. SHIT.
15. Here's another fun FACT: His cheekbones are just as mesmerizing when he has short hair...
16. ...as when he has long hair!
17. Even when he has a gnarly beard and long hair, THEY STILL WILL KILL YOU WITH THEIR MAGIC.
18. Sometimes even Mads can't handle the weight of their beauty and he has to rest them on his hands.
19. He also gets overwhelmed by the sheer number of people staring and he has to look away.
20. Because having the most powerful cheekbones in the world is a heavy burden for one beautiful man to bear.
21. Surely you've felt the sharp pain of those peaked 'bones staring back at you.
22. They can cut through diamonds... or straight through your heart.
23. Begging you to even dare touch them.
24. But you cannot touch them, no, because if you did it would mean immediate death.
25. You'd die of happiness. Do you understand?
26. Wait... maybe dying of 'bones happiness is the only true way to die... MAYBE touching them is the MEANING OF LIFE. (!!!)
27. OK, IF YOU'RE READY TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS, TOUCH THEM. GO AHEAD AND TOUCH THEM.
28. Sweet sassy molassey, that was hot. Good, and hot, and everything I wanted it to be.
