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5 Classic Novels Liam Neeson Bathes In Before Your Colonoscopy

You read that right. Jimmy Kimmel gave me this idea.

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Coming up with ideas for lists can be tricky, which is why Jimmy Kimmel invented a BuzzFeed headline generator.

I went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to test it out with him, and one of the headlines we created at random was "5 Classic Novels Liam Neeson Bathes In Before Your Colonoscopy."

Thank you, Jimmy. This list is for you.

1. Call of the Wild, by Jack London

Call of the Wild tells the story of Buck, a dog who is ripped from his happy domestic existence in California and forced into survival mode as a sled dog in Alaska.

Neeson experiences something quite similar in his incomparable film, The Grey. In that film, Neeson is stranded after a plane crash in Alaska, and left to fend for himself (along with other, less impressive actors) in the wild.

Before your colonoscopy, which is venturing into uncharted territory, so to speak, Mr. Neeson bathes in the pages of this classic novel as a show of camaraderie. Thank you, Mr. Neeson.

2. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman

In 1973, this classic novel introduced us to the romance between Buttercup and her devoted farm boy, Westley. They didn't need many words to communicate, a simple, "As you wish" (read: I LOVE YOU) would suffice.

In 2003, the world watched as Neeson revealed himself to be a hopeless romantic in Love Actually as the character of Daniel. In the film, Daniel mourns the loss of his wife, much as Buttercup initially mourns the loss of Westley. But Daniel encourages his son Sam to pursue a classmate he's fallen head-over-heels for. In fact, he encourages Sam to CHASE HER through an airport! (If it sounds familiar, that's because you may remember Westley chasing his love up the side of a mountain, and across land and sea).

Before your colonoscopy, Neeson bathes in these pages as a reminder that love, actually, is all around us.


3. Oh, the Places You'll Go!, by Dr. Seuss

This classic children's book explores all of the ways that life truly is a journey. It takes a whimsical approach to explaining life's challenges, and the circumstances that take us to unexpected places.

Not surprisingly, Neeson understands the themes of this book all too well. In the Taken film series his character, ex-CIA operative Bryan Mills, is repeatedly thrown into unpleasant circumstances that force him onto journeys only a true action hero could survive. And, of course, he does so beautifully.

While your colonoscopy is an unpleasant circumstance, just ask yourself this: WWLND? (What would Liam Neeson do?) Answer: Bathe in this book.

4. Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens

Much in the same way that Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson) recruited Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) into the League of Shadows in Batman Begins, so goes the ill-fated journey of Pip in Great Expectations.

Ducard finds Wayne abandoned in a Bhutanese prison and leads him onto a path to destroy Gotham. Similarly, an escaped convict finds Pip (an orphan), and leads him onto a treacherous path to steal food for him.

The moral of both these stories is that it's you, not your mentors, who determine your true path. Take that lesson with you before your colonoscopy, and before Neeson takes his book bath.

5. The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Hester Prynne is ostracized after exploring her sexuality in Puritanical Boston in 1642, forced to wear a scarlet "A" on her chest to symbolize her adultery.

Neeson explored the feeling of being trapped in his singular performance as Zeus in Wrath of the Titans. There, Zeus is betrayed by his family, much as Hester is betrayed by her community.

And since you're about to be betrayed by a colonoscopy, Neeson bathes in The Scarlet Letter to honor the wrath about to happen to that colon.