1.
Everyone, this is Joe Carroll from The Following. Joe, say hello to everyone!
2.
In the spirit of full disclosure—you may want to sit down for this—Joe's a serial killer.
3.
But, like, a pretty hot one, right?
4.
Yes, I know, the man kills people.
5.
And he's got that weird obsession with Edgar Allan Poe.
6.
But he's also a scholarly professor!
7.
Hot for teacher, anyone?!
8.
And orange is an oddly flattering color on him.
9.
Plus, he's not afraid to role-play!
12.
Dang boo, you need me to fill up that glass or what?
13.
Sometimes he cheats on his wife*.
14.
And it's pretty sexy, actually.
16.
ALRIGHT, I'M ABOUT TO BLACKOUT SO SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1.
17.
Other times, he and K-Bacon eye fuck the hell out of each other.
18.
And yes, I realize that he is STILL a serial killer.
19.
Who's cultivating a following of other killers for terrifying things.
20.
But just look at that face!
21.
All Joe wants is someone to love...
23.
Because deep down, Joe is a man who genuinely cares...
25.
And looking fresh to death while he does it.
26.
So, what do you say, will you join Joe's following of fans?