Lesson 1: Fall in love with a farm boy, because they are loyal as hell.
Lesson 2: Life is not fair.
Lesson 4: When it comes to morons, make sure to put them in their place.
Lesson 5: Always introduce yourself before killing someone.
Lesson 6: Use "Inconceivable!" as much as possible.
Lesson 7: When it's someone's first time, be gentle.
Lesson 8: You are spoiled.
Lesson 9: Spend years building up a resistance to Iocane powder.
Lesson 10: BEWARE OF R.O.U.S.!
Lesson 11: Get a wingman.
Lesson 12: Dunk your head in hot and cold water to stay awake.
Lesson 13: Don't mess with Sicilians.
Lesson 14: Love is the same in every language.
Lesson 15: Sometimes a little white lie is best.
Lesson 16: Never assume someone is left handed, or right handed.
The Most Important Lesson Of All: Death cannot stop true love. It only delays it for a bit.