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Heart On's & Brief Jerky: 12 Delightfully Humorous Ways To Seduce Your Valentine

Panties be droppin' with these painstakingly curated gift ideas.

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1. For The Novice

The rules of seduction are simple, but just in case you get nervous...here's the perfect greeting card for reference.
Deadwilder Design & Illustration / Via etsy.com

The rules of seduction are simple, but just in case you get nervous...here's the perfect greeting card for reference.

2. For New Dads

Switch heads with your kid on Manbabies.com for an unforgettable father/child portrait. TRUE - your partner will initially find it VERY creepy, but due to the natural rise in endorphins brought about by their uncontrollable laughter, this gift has the potential to land you in a sexy time out. Try several photos for best results.
Man Babies.com / Via manbabies.com

Switch heads with your kid on Manbabies.com for an unforgettable father/child portrait. TRUE - your partner will initially find it VERY creepy, but due to the natural rise in endorphins brought about by their uncontrollable laughter, this gift has the potential to land you in a sexy time out. Try several photos for best results.

3. For Baby Makers

Nothing says “I want to make a baby with you” like getting it on for a free IKEA crib.
Yahoo / Via ca.shine.yahoo.com

Nothing says “I want to make a baby with you” like getting it on for a free IKEA crib.

4. For Medical Professionals

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Pun...just don't wear them anywhere they wouldn't be fun (i.e. Congress, Sunday school, or PTA meetings.)
Deadwilder Design & Illustration / Via etsy.com

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Pun...just don't wear them anywhere they wouldn't be fun (i.e. Congress, Sunday school, or PTA meetings.)

5. For Anthropologists

Could also work if your girlfriend's name is Lucy.
FragglesAndFriggles / Via etsy.com

Could also work if your girlfriend's name is Lucy.

6. For Preppers

DIY before you DI-DIE and follow Corey C's lead by crafting a super practical, yet darkly romantic Zombie survival kit.
Corey Chumchal / Via pinterest.com

DIY before you DI-DIE and follow Corey C's lead by crafting a super practical, yet darkly romantic Zombie survival kit.

7. For the Naked and Afraid

The full "Brief Jerky" tutorial is available at TrendHunter.com
Via trendhunter.com

The full "Brief Jerky" tutorial is available at TrendHunter.com

8. For Your BFF

I really wish these came in "Hussie," but "Skank" is also an appropriate sentiment.
Mallory Blackwell / Via etsy.com

I really wish these came in "Hussie," but "Skank" is also an appropriate sentiment.

9. For Pork Enthusiasts

Bacon roses make a great pairing with "swine and cheese."
Pinterest / Via pinterest.com

Bacon roses make a great pairing with "swine and cheese."

10. For Those Teetering on the Brink of Sanity

You're Hot! But a bit Psychotic.
Parachute425 / Via etsy.com

You're Hot! But a bit Psychotic.

11. For the Betrothed Sci-Fi Couple

What better way to commemorate your union than with the sarcastic and banter-filled love story between Princess Leia and Han Solo.
Chelsea Swank / Via etsy.com

What better way to commemorate your union than with the sarcastic and banter-filled love story between Princess Leia and Han Solo.

12. For Those of Us Who Are Over It

So True.
Thomas Hayden / Via tumblr.com

So True.

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