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16 Reasons Every Stoner Needs To Move To Asheville

Note: This stuff is also enjoyable sober. But not as enjoyable. Sorry, Grandma.

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First things first:

Twab Mugs / Via

OK. Continue.

1. Order a dank pizza at Mellow Mushroom.

For the "I fuck with weed sometimes, but I never fuck with animal products" person, this beauty is vegan.

2. Take in the great outdoors – specifically the Blue Ridge Mountains – in your newly altered state of mind.

"This is literally the chillest thing I've ever seen."

3. Buy a dime bag and a drum to create colorful, far out music at the Friday evening drum circle downtown.

Weird dancing. Cute babies. Hacky Sack. It's all here to overstimulate your little stoned mind.

4. If you consider guacamole a food group (doesn't everyone?) and have a serious case of the munchies...get to White Duck Taco Shop.

"Yeah, uh, just give me one of each dude."

5. TRIP OUT over the Asheville nun. Like. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

You're tanked, but this is crazy shit.

6. Surround yourself with profound knowledge at The Battery Park Book Exchange.

And by that, I mean, re-read the same sentence for two hours and/or play with customers' dogs.

7. Have a joint in one hand and paintbrush in the other in the River Arts District.

"Like...graffiti is a seriously deep expression of life, man."

8. Loaf your tanked body to 12 Bones to go in on ribs, greens, grits, and cornbread.

Obama eats here. So, you could meet the President. High.

9. Get your cross-buzz on literally by the water at The Bywater.

Contemplate purchasing a boat and sleeping in it down the river.

10. Or, if you're feeling mobile, you could walk around the French Broad River.

THE place to smoke and contemplate life's big questions, like: "I wonder where the nearest store that sells Oreos is..."

11. Hot-box in a trippy piece of vehicular art.

Whoever owns this probably wants marijuana to be legalized.

12. Have someone carry your blazed ass to Dough.

"Dude, like, we're baked...and this bread is baked." *mind explodes*

13. If you're craving a particularly enlightened high, idle over to Asheville Community Yoga.

Make up a few of your own marijuana induced postures, or sleep through the whole thing. #corpsepose

14. Have a staring contest with the buskers.

"They are like, such damn relaxed people, yo. Wonder if she's as faded as us."

15. Puff, puff, pass with students at Warren Wilson College.

It's stoner God James Franco's alma mater...NOT a coincidence.

16. The city's motto?

JK, it's #keepashevilleweird

The best things at three price points