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16 Reasons Every Stoner Needs To Move To Asheville

Note: This stuff is also enjoyable sober. But not as enjoyable. Sorry, Grandma.

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First things first:

Twab Mugs / Via twabmugs.tumblr.com

OK. Continue.

1. Order a dank pizza at Mellow Mushroom.

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For the "I fuck with weed sometimes, but I never fuck with animal products" person, this beauty is vegan.

2. Take in the great outdoors – specifically the Blue Ridge Mountains – in your newly altered state of mind.

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"This is literally the chillest thing I've ever seen."

3. Buy a dime bag and a drum to create colorful, far out music at the Friday evening drum circle downtown.

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Weird dancing. Cute babies. Hacky Sack. It's all here to overstimulate your little stoned mind.

4. If you consider guacamole a food group (doesn't everyone?) and have a serious case of the munchies...get to White Duck Taco Shop.

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"Yeah, uh, just give me one of each dude."

5. TRIP OUT over the Asheville nun. Like. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

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You're tanked, but this is crazy shit.

6. Surround yourself with profound knowledge at The Battery Park Book Exchange.

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And by that, I mean, re-read the same sentence for two hours and/or play with customers' dogs.

7. Have a joint in one hand and paintbrush in the other in the River Arts District.

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"Like...graffiti is a seriously deep expression of life, man."

8. Loaf your tanked body to 12 Bones to go in on ribs, greens, grits, and cornbread.

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Obama eats here. So, you could meet the President. High.

9. Get your cross-buzz on literally by the water at The Bywater.

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Contemplate purchasing a boat and sleeping in it down the river.

10. Or, if you're feeling mobile, you could walk around the French Broad River.

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THE place to smoke and contemplate life's big questions, like: "I wonder where the nearest store that sells Oreos is..."

11. Hot-box in a trippy piece of vehicular art.

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Whoever owns this probably wants marijuana to be legalized.

12. Have someone carry your blazed ass to Dough.

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"Dude, like, we're baked...and this bread is baked." *mind explodes*

13. If you're craving a particularly enlightened high, idle over to Asheville Community Yoga.

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Make up a few of your own marijuana induced postures, or sleep through the whole thing. #corpsepose

14. Have a staring contest with the buskers.

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"They are like, such damn relaxed people, yo. Wonder if she's as faded as us."

15. Puff, puff, pass with students at Warren Wilson College.

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It's stoner God James Franco's alma mater...NOT a coincidence.

16. The city's motto?

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JK, it's #keepashevilleweird

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