"Wish I could put my titties in a ponytail."
There are m-m-m-more than you think!
Omg we get ittt, you're an artist!!!
"Drake is such a Carrie Bradshaw."
Here's a quiz to help pasta time.
This is like drugs to me.
I bet you can't eat them all.
"Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs."
Asked for a breakfast sandwich, got an oyster.
A Prius with a "Coexist" bumper sticker.
"My customer service voice is the fakest bitch. I don’t know her."
Four of a kind!
Location, location, location!
A girl can dreeeam.
"King of short kings."
"I’ve dated a lot of white guys which is surprising cause i’m a history major."
It's one banana, Michael. How much could it cost? Ten dollars?
"Stand clear of the closing doors please."
And the Oscar goes to...