23 Words That Mean Something Totally Different When You're In A Long-Term Relationship

I don't even remember how to flirt.

1. Anniversary

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What it usually means: Celebrating every month or year with flowers, and Hallmark cards, and cutesy gifts.

What is means now: Making last-minute dinner plans every 365 days.

2. Closeness

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What it usually means: Allowing yourself to be emotionally vulnerable.

What it means now: Investigating a questionable mole on your S.O.'s butt crack.

3. Spooning

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What it usually means: Sleeping in each other's arms, sometimes for an entire night.

What is means now: Something you do for about two minutes until someone's arm goes numb, and you roll to opposite corners of the bed to actually sleep.

4. "We should go out"

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What it usually means: A casual way to ask someone you're interested in to go on a date with you.

What it means now: What you say to your S.O. when you realize you've been indoors for an entire weekend and you can't remember what sunshine looks like.

5. Considerate

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What it usually means: Being thoughtful. For example, waking up early to cook breakfast for someone because they have a big job interview.

What it means now: Being thoughtful. For example, leaving the room to fart.

6. Married

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What it usually means: A sacred and legal bond between two people.

What it means now: A derogatory way your friends refer to you and your S.O.

7. Fighting

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What it usually means: A regrettable exchange of words, crying, calling your mom, "thinking about things," grand apologies, vows of forgiveness, make-up sex.

What it means now: Twenty minutes of salty comebacks until someone cracks a smile, make-up sex.

8. Flirting

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What it usually means: Making your attraction known to someone you're interested in.

What it means now: A sneaky way to get your S.O. to do the dishes.

9. Romantic

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What it used to mean: ~ Setting the mood ~

What it means now: Lighting a candle after using the bathroom in your shared home.

10. Showering together

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What it usually means: A fun, sexy time!

What it means now: You both woke up late for work.

11. Giving each other space

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What it usually means: Taking an emotional break from your relationship to reevaluate your future together.

What it means now: Making room at the bathroom sink so you can both brush your teeth before the commercial break is over.

12. "A friend of mine"

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What it usually means: Your friend. A friend you made during your lifetime.

What it means now: You or your S.O.'s friend. A friend one of you made during one of your lifetimes, although it's difficult to remember whose because you collectively own the friend now.

13. Best friend

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What it usually means: Your closest friend. A friend you made during your lifetime that you consider to be better than all your other friends.

What it means now: Your S.O.

14. "It's not you, it's me"

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What it usually means: A generic phrase used to gently break up with someone.

What it means now: Something you say when you realize that B.O. you've been teasing your S.O. about is coming from your own armpits.

15. Valentine's Day

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What it usually means: Formulaic expressions of institutionalized "romance."

What it means now: Guaranteed sex night.

16. Date

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What it usually means: Going out on the town as a couple.

What it means now: Fiiinally going to Home Depot to buy new smoke detectors like you've been talking about for weeks.

17. "I'm breaking up with you"

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What it usually means: A straightforward way to end a relationship.

What it means now: An empty threat you shout when you lose to your S.O. in corn hole.

18. Decision making

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What it usually means: "Should we move in together?"

What it means now: "Should we get dessert? Because we've both been looking a little doughy lately. Fuck it, we look good doughy."

19. Alone time

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What it usually means: Treating yourself to a day of solitary activities.

What it means now: Taking longer in the bathroom than necessary.

20. "I love you"

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What it usually means: An expression of deep admiration.

What it means now: Something you add after saying, "I know you were technically in bed first but can you turn the lights off because I'm soOoOoOo tired."

21. Honesty

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What it usually means: Being open and transparent about what you expect out of your relationship.

What it means now: Telling your S.O. their breath stinks so they don't lose their job.

22. Fancy dinner

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What it usually means: Making reservations at an expensive restaurant that serves food with names you can't pronounce.

What it means now: Not watching Netflix during dinner.

23. Forever

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What it usually means: Until the end of time.

What it means now: The amount of time you and your S.O. have been together.