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    Updated on Jul 14, 2018. Posted on Jul 13, 2018

    Here Are 24 Very Good Tweets By Women

    "Wish I could put my titties in a ponytail."

    1.

    There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.

    2.

    3.

    Yit’s been https://t.co/Cvcp97qDxQ

    4.

    When I say “I’ll let you know”...

    5.

    this literally could not be worded worse https://t.co/Zth1FbSlsM

    6.

    Remember Kiwi & his goth gf? Well now she's his goth wife and they have 4 beautiful half goth babies 💚💙🖤

    7.

    TWITTER RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: would you like to see some porn your friends like FACEBOOK RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: this terrible thing happened a year ago AMAZON RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: buy five more TVs YOUTUBE RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: would you like to become a nazi

    8.

    I told my 10yr old she couldn’t have press-on nails so she made some out of clay.

    9.

    Person: how’s the revision going? Writer: *wounded water buffalo cry* oh, good Person: what’s in your hand? Writer: the backspace key. I hit it so hard I broke it. And I took the carcass as a trophy Person: *slowly backs away* Writer: I love writing!

    10.

    My little brother found this condom in my room and...

    11.

    this is how asian dads text you https://t.co/k9VfhujzTx

    12.

    13.

    I’m sure there’s a better method of keeping a phone screen clean than “wipe it on my tit” but I don’t wanna know it and will not be reading responses

    14.

    rare grammy twins rt for good luck

    15.

    once at a party I was stuck in a boring group conversation then I remembered I had a banana in my purse so I pulled it out answered it like a phone and said “Sorry guys I have to take this” and walked away we are the masters of our own fate

    16.

    17.

    two indie teens having a conversation: 1. have u ever heard of beach house 2. yea 1. look at this bruise on my leg 2. ok [eats cigarette]

    18.

    My friend wanted to order water and the delivery guy was asking for her address, “add pls”. She thought it meant add the WORD “please”. I’m crying 😂😂 https://t.co/UY7zgQQ5Lw

    19.

    i wish girls who want boob jobs and girls who want boob reductions could just like. venmo each other some tity.

    20.

    Kylie: i got my fillers removed! Natural lips are back in!!! every other IG girl:

    21.

    the biggest tea on myself is that as a kid I hated cartoons & one day at daycare I was being a bitch bc spongebob was on & the teacher said “fine we’ll watch the news” and I was like fine whatever. anyway thats the story of how its my fault we all saw the 2nd plane hit on 9/11

    22.

    throwback to getting groceries to the 2nd floor in one trip

    23.

    it’s so hot 😩 i wish i could put my titties in a ponytail

    24.

    My future husband is probably fake laughing at his girlfriend’s lame ass jokes rn. Be patient King, a true clown is on the way.

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