1.
there's gonna be ANOTHER year???????
2.
recipe: 2 cloves of garlic me: got it
3.
to YOU https://t.co/YhksmELu7Y
4.
Netflix: “let’s get someone who fuckin hates Gossip Girl to write the description of Gossip Girl”
5.
1F Y0U C4N R34D 7H15, C0N6R47UI4710N5! Y0U H4V3 D3PR35510N.
6.
Thinking of all the influencers today out in the cold on 59th and 5th hustling hard to get that shot
7.
Alcohol has taught me that when I’m drunk I will walk anywhere. Sober me complains about a 10 min walk but you tell drunk me that I need to walk 2 miles in the pouring rain? BET
8.
A lady I work with sends her dog to doggy day care n the woman that runs it does seasonal photo shoots with the dogs 😂 This is their christmas pic
9.
rt if you want: - attention - 𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 - 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - 𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 - a t t e n t i o n - ᵃᵗᵗᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿ - 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 no one will know ever know which one u want
10.
guys really live in apartments like this and don’t see any issue
11.
If I have a medical emergency don’t U DARE call an ambulance y’all better uber my ass to the hospital bc we not about to pay 5,000 for a ride in the wee-yoo wagon
12.
imagine being so mad at your man you promote this tweet
13.
{trying to fit in with my son’s friends} yo what up fam you guys see all the dank memes haha ok i gotta go see if i got any faxes tell your moms i said yeet
14.
Me in the mirror: ooh lookin' kinda cute Me in a photo:
15.
Stop liking guys whose name starts with the letter J challenge
16.
anyone else have trouble getting their cats to pose for their christmas card?
17.
When I woke up today, I thought I saw a mouse on my floor. (Without my contacts, I have -9 vision, so I can’t see). SO. I trap the mouse with a box. I put my contacts in so I can see, only to find out that I did not trap a mouse. I trapped my hairbrush. Have a great day.
18.
HE REALLY THOUGHT HE COULD GET A REPLY OUT OF ME IF HE FLEXED SOME MONEY LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
19.
pregnant women really tryna make me stand on public transit like Im the one who didnt use a condom
20.
ladies what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in a boy’s bathroom? allow me to start
21.
can anyone else confirm that girls have 4 types of showers, a “quick body wash”, a “hair and body shower”, a proper “exfoliate shave, moisturizer, hair mask, singalong” and then a “depressed leave me alone I wanna die” shower.
22.
Oh, piss off. https://t.co/DohNNW2Fcp
23.
a man in whole foods asked how i was doing and i said ok how are you and he said “it is beautiful in my soul today” and that’s why i never go to whole foods
24.
me: hello 911 operator: hello what’s ur emergency me: these men won’t stop laughing operator: ok yea that’s annoying but not a crime me: wtf is manslaughter then