1.
Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart.
2.
Wow apparently it's "rude" to ask the parents of a kid on a leash if it was a rescue... SMH lol
3.
Me: *knows 6lack is pronounced black* Me: don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it Me: “sixlack”
4.
hope everyone is having a lit thanksgiving
5.
his what https://t.co/FuMmJ4Zj97
6.
[rolling up in heelys] doctor: that's sick electrician: that's lit greengrocer: that's fresh poet: that's epic drug dealer: that's dope ice fisherman: that's cool witch: that's wicked mathematician: that's radical dressing room attendant: that's tight
7.
Holy shit. I just remembered I was in Twilight.
8.
This is still an incredible piece of film criticism.
9.
Didn’t see my boyfriend for like a week and when we sat down to eat at this restaurant he pulls out a bit of paper and said “ I had so much tea to spill that I didn’t want to forget any details” lmaooooo
10.
Trying to hold in all my affection so I don’t look annoying or clingy
11.
*college kids trying to clean snow off their car* me- using a folder kid next to me- minute maid lemonade box girl across from me- a boot another girl near me- a dust pan
12.
I’m mostly interested to know at what point Albus Dumbledore decided smart, grey three-piece suits were out, and embellished, jewel-coloured robes with a matching hat were in #FantasicBeasts https://t.co/DWNJcaxnkr
13.
I love seeing your friends whilst they’re in work and they’re interacting with customers like hahahahahahah that is not the real u
14.
WHY DOES EVERY ONLINE RECIPE BEGIN WITH A 40 PAGE ESSAY ABOUT SOMEONES HUSBAND DOG AND KIDS AND A BRISK WALK THEY TOOK IN THE FALL AND HOW THEY LOVE THE CHANGING OF THE LEAVES AND THEIR DOGS FAVORITE TREAT. GIMME THE RECIPE HON MY SCROLL FINGER HURTS
15.
In middle school I typed an entire paper while clicking the space bar twice between each word bc i thought that’s what double spaced meant
16.
I was today years old when I found out the middle row in a package of Oreos was actually for salsa😳‼️🤷🏻♀️
17.
why did US schools teach us how to square dance in the fourth grade what was the reason
18.
Me on thanksgiving eating my 5th plate of mashed potatoes https://t.co/O33Qpsriai
19.
I used to be one of those people who thought LuLu Lemon leggings were overpriced and overrated Until I wore my first pair And I tripped over a fence and fell, and cut my knee completely open and my lulus did not rip MY SKIN RIPPED BUT NOT MY LEGGINGS QUALITY!!
20.
Happy thanksgathering im back on my bullshit
21.
why don’t grocery stores participate in black friday?? i don’t need 20% off a flatscreen - give me half price tide pods and $1 coffee creamers and then you better believe i’ll be at the doors at 3am
22.
When u hit yo pinky toe on the bed rail 💀
23.
I am officially “taking a dish to thanksgiving dinner” years old. 👵🏼
24.
Ran into your boyfriend at Lowe’s
25.
i told my little brother that it was fine if we didn’t get ice cream and he said “are you sure? i looked it up online and it said when girls say they’re fine they’re not”
26.
i just read something like 'hey you know how long 2018 has been? we had an olympics this year and everybody forgot about it.' and i just stared off into the distance like
27.
I met this guy on holiday this summer-we had a such a great connection but I changed my number and we lost touch. Twitter do your thing😭🙏🏿❤ https://t.co/rBekHA6TeL
UPDATE
A BOY snuck onto this list! His tweet has been removed.