Here Are 29 Of The Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

    "Damn, McDonald's, you a freak."

    1.

    you ever process your emotions in a healthy way just to flex on your dad

    2.

    Me during a home invasion and the burglar tells me they haven’t registered to vote

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    Me: I’m just gonna go for one drink Me the next morning: https://t.co/FH404oGoxT

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    My cat had her tail over my bath water and this happened... I feel like an awful cat mom for laughing so much xD

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    of mice and men be like ____ 🤠_____ / \ / / 🐁 \ \ \ \___🤲🏻__/ / 😔 \_______|______ / 🔫(__)✌🏻 👢👢 👢👢

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    NBC should replace megyn kelly with gritty

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    justin bieber really said “swag, swag, swag on you. chillin by the fire while we eatin fondue” and we just let him

    10.

    in ‘baby driver’ (2017) the words ‘baby’ and ‘driver’ appear on the screen. this is a reference to the fact that the movie is called ‘baby driver’ https://t.co/xZzdzv5zRZ

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    I told him let’s get this bread but he was gluten free - rupi kaur

    12.

    my life is very pointless TO ME!!!

    13.

    black bears: make sense brown bears: also make sense polar bears: not called white bears for absolutely no fucking reason

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    well his name isn't Cookathome Malone https://t.co/XdFw1Id7Wr

    16.

    My mom found out I got my nipples pierced today

    17.

    I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes “no honey you need a milkshake” Service: unmatched

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    hs girls on their bday be like __ __ /_ | / / | | \ \___ | | \ o \ |__| \____/ \ \ \ \ \ / \ / \ / ✊🏽💁🏽‍♀️ 👖

    20.

    What does a house wear to a party? ... Address LMFAOOOO

    21.

    Your pornstar name is: Your first name + your last name Bc it’s you. You’re a hoe.

    22.

    told my dad to get me a small & if they were out to get the next size up.......apparently all they had was a 3X and somewhere in my dads mind he thought this was ok....I should call the police.... https://t.co/vfmWMTtKEb

    23.

    If I had a dollar for every time I hit a curb I’d have like 27 dollars which isn’t a lot of money but is a lot of times to hit a curb

    24.

    Thought I went colour blind in Asda today

    25.

    How to get a boyfriend as told by a kindergartner: “well you just get a best friend that’s a boy then you love him so much he turns into your boyfriend! It’s really easy Ms. Lockwood”

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    Been getting a lot of bread lately. Not money but my carb intake is just unreal

    28.

    me, as a kid, getting socks as a present: oh... cool... thanks... me getting socks as a present now:

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