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    Posted on Jun 12, 2013

    Why You Should Invite Blake Anderson To Your Next Kegger

    The frizzy-haired star of Workaholics would be fun at parties, you have to admit.

    He'd definitely show up to your party in the best shirt ever created.

    Christopher Polk / Getty Images
    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    Resist the urge to ask if you can borrow it.

    He would almost certainly BYOB.

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    Because he's a fucking gentleman.

    He'd pick out some righteous party tunes.

    Twitter: @UncleBlazer

    He's an experienced music-listener.

    His dance moves would most definitely get things going.

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    All kinds of things.

    I'm sure he'd do his world famous dog impression if you asked nicely.

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    What a party trick!

    Or his impression of a really nice guy.

    View this video on YouTube

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    You have to use your imagination.

    If things got boring, he'd entertain your guests with the story about the time he broke his back jumping off a roof.

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    "On December 17, 2011, Anderson required surgery after fracturing his spine during a house party by jumping from his roof onto a beer pong table." --The most epic Wikipedia entry of all time.

    If you were lucky, he'd let you play with his pet dragon.

    Via Twitter: @UncleBlazer

    That's not a euphemism.

    And he'd probably let you try on his bear coat.

    I mean, he let Conan try it on.

    He'd have the beerballs to tell off that guy everyone secretly hates and get him to leave.

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    You've been wanting to say that for years, haven't you?

    Things would eventually get weird.

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    Which is EXACTLY what you had hoped for.

    And everyone would be like, THIS IS THE BEST PARTY EVER.

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    WHO EVEN KNEW PARTIES COULD BE THIS FUN?

    Right then, Blake would leave dripping in pussy.

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    Not that pussy, you perve. He's married to a total babe.

    And you would be like, Thank you, Blake Anderson, patron saint of boogy-downs.

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    This truly has been the best party ever.

    OH, one more thing. If he asks if he can bring friends tell him YES.

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    A thousand times yes.

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