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    May 10, 2013

    Why Makeup Is Actually The Worst

    It's a wonderful, terrible tool. Use it wisely.

    Because lipstick gets all over your teeth and makes you look like you've been munching on human body parts.

    Because mascara runs down your face and makes you look like an Alice Cooper groupie. / Via

    It's also a dead give-away that you've been crying in the bathroom. AWESOME.

    Because when you go for goth you'll probably get raccoon instead.

    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    Because blush can make it look like you took a 2x4 to the face.

    "Not here or here so much. But riiiiight here."

    Because blue eyeshadow is harder to pull of than you think.

    Because your foundation is always the wrong color and people assume you OD'ed on sunblock.

    Because blending is hard work.

    No, I did not just eat a powdered donut. Why do you ask?

    Because if you rub your eyes you look like you haven't slept since the '90s.

    Because your concealer leaves traces of you everywhere you go.

    Because who even knows when you're supposed to end the cat eye. WHO?


    Because eyelash curlers are like tiny medieval torture devices.

    Because lipliner makes you look like you've been sneaking Oreos.

    Or maybe you have been sneaking Oreos? No judgement there.

    Because smeared makeup is the stuff of nightmares.

    Because glitter exists and it shouldn't.

    Jason LaVeris / Getty Images

    Because red lipstick in the wrong hands is literally terrifying.

    Because clumpy mascara makes you look like you have spiders on/in your eyes.

    Because perfecting your eyebrows is too much pressure!


    Because makeup causes allergic reactions and breakouts.

    You know what that means...MORE MAKEUP YAY.

    Because it will ruin everything you love.

    Because it's frickin' expenive!

    Because we spend forever putting it on in the morning just so we can take it off at night.

    And then do the whole thing again the next day!

    Which is why it would be better to just never wear makeup at all.

    comic by Madéleine Flores

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