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We Tried The Fake Cocktails That Kristen Wiig And Steve Carell Made Up

And only one of us almost puked!

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Last night on Fallon, funnywoman Kristen Wiig made up the recipes for a Sea Cloud and a Fuzzy Wormhole, two fake cocktails Steve Carell invented.

View this video on YouTube

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The clip starts around 3:10.

According to Kristen, this is what goes is a Sea Cloud:

- salt water

- three half orange wedges

- a little rum

-a little milk

- served lukewarm

And this is what's in a Fuzzy Wormhole:

- tequilla

- a little apple juice

- sweater fuzz in the ice cubes

- served in an empty Campbell's soup can

Well guess what we happened to have in the BuzzFeed kitchen...

Those exact ingredients.
BuzzFeed / Erin Chack

Those exact ingredients.

So I, Erin, begged my coworkers to try a Sea Cloud and a Fuzzy Wormhole with me.

Slack

And the weaker ones declined.

Slack

Until finally a valiant and noble prince stepped up.

Slack

So we got mixin'

First up...

A salty milk-based rum cocktail, served with an ambitious one-and-a-half orange garnish. Think White Russians if they were shipwrecked on a desert island and had to drink their own pee to survive, minus the sweet coffee taste.
Getty / eugenesergeev

A salty milk-based rum cocktail, served with an ambitious one-and-a-half orange garnish. Think White Russians if they were shipwrecked on a desert island and had to drink their own pee to survive, minus the sweet coffee taste.

Step one was procuring sea water, which we had none of. So we googled the salt-to-water ratio in the ocean and attempted to brew our own with Poland Spring and Costco brand sea salt.

Close enough, right?
BuzzFeed / Ryan Schocket

Close enough, right?

Then we mixed in a "little bit" of rum a "little bit" of milk (gag), and shoved a whole orange and a half in there!

I love that I have to credit these pics as if they're art.
PROPERTY OF BUZZFEED
UNDER PENALTY OF LAW

And here's the result: A perfet Sea Cloud.

It looked a bit like old tuna water and orange rinds, but hey. Looks can be deceiving (they weren't).
This one's pretty good so I'll do the real thing: BuzzFeed / Erin Chack

It looked a bit like old tuna water and orange rinds, but hey. Looks can be deceiving (they weren't).

THE BEFORE:

ERIN: I'm pretty nervous about the citrus in the oranges curdling the milk. Once, when I was seven, I had the flu, so my dad made me tea with milk and my mom gave me orange juice and I chugged both and five minutes later puked all over our pet cat. This drink is giving me flashbacks to that.RYAN: Before drinking this, I already knew I wasn’t gonna like it. TBH, I accepted this challenge because I thought I was going to get a buzz on. I saw the word “cocktails” and didn’t really read the other gross stuff. So, once this drink was all set and I realized I actually had to consume it, I was like, “OK, this is gonna fuck me up.”
BuzzFeed / Ryan Schocket who has longer arms than me so he took the selfie

ERIN: I'm pretty nervous about the citrus in the oranges curdling the milk. Once, when I was seven, I had the flu, so my dad made me tea with milk and my mom gave me orange juice and I chugged both and five minutes later puked all over our pet cat. This drink is giving me flashbacks to that.

RYAN: Before drinking this, I already knew I wasn’t gonna like it. TBH, I accepted this challenge because I thought I was going to get a buzz on. I saw the word “cocktails” and didn’t really read the other gross stuff. So, once this drink was all set and I realized I actually had to consume it, I was like, “OK, this is gonna fuck me up.”

THE AFTER:

BuzzFeed

Ryan immediately almost threw up.

BuzzFeed

Like it was so bad he left the phone recording to go wretch in the corner.

As you can see, the cocktail had different effects on us.

BuzzFeed
BuzzFeed

RYAN: And I was right. It fucked me up. Tasted like sewer water and a shitload of salt. I was not OK. At all. (See GIF for evidence.)

ERIN: I mean, no human should consume that much salt, and oranges and milk taste kinda like if you wrung the liquid out of a cat's hairball, but I didn't puke so I'm feeling GREAT.

Next up:

A fresh and fruity tequila drink textured with the fuzz of a sweater and served in an old Campbell's soup can. As it's mostly just watered down apple juice, this is the drink a seven-year-old alcoholic would swear by.
Getty / raspirator

A fresh and fruity tequila drink textured with the fuzz of a sweater and served in an old Campbell's soup can. As it's mostly just watered down apple juice, this is the drink a seven-year-old alcoholic would swear by.

Before we could get to cocktail mixing we had to empty out the soup cans, which Ryan handled because he is, as I said before, valiant and noble.

BuzzFeed / Erin Chack, so proud of her son Ryan.
Her son Ryan, pictured above.

Before you wreck us in the comments we felt Bad and Guilty about wasting food, so please direct your wrath at Kristen Wiig.

Next we fuzzed-up some ice and transferred it to the cans.

BuzzFeed's property, don't even think about stealing this pic of fuzzy ice.
Ehh you can have this one if you want.

Fuzz courtesy of Erin's sweatshirt. Emphasis on the sweat, as today was 81 degrees in NYC.

We added some apple juice and a metric shit ton of tequila

FeedBuzz
BoobsFeet do you guys even read these

And voilà, a fuzzy wormhole:

PICTURESQUE, RIGHT? Andy Warhol is popping boners in his grave. We added a cucumber garnish because we are Class Acts, but it's not required.
BuzzFeed / Erin Chack, back off lifestyle bloggers

PICTURESQUE, RIGHT? Andy Warhol is popping boners in his grave. We added a cucumber garnish because we are Class Acts, but it's not required.

THE BEFORE:

RYAN: This one didn’t scare me as much. For one, it’s apple juice and tequila. I would hook up an IV of tequila to me if I could. I love it. But also, the whole drink itself looked good and trendy AF. Erin and I even took “glam shots” of the drink on the roof. Please remember us when this becomes a thing.ERIN: I'm calling it right now: Campbell's soup cans are the new mason jars. You're going to see these things at weddings next. I'm not worried about the taste of this cocktail because it's literally just tequila and apple juice, which I was practically raised on.
BuzzFeed / Erin Chack

RYAN: This one didn’t scare me as much. For one, it’s apple juice and tequila. I would hook up an IV of tequila to me if I could. I love it. But also, the whole drink itself looked good and trendy AF. Erin and I even took “glam shots” of the drink on the roof. Please remember us when this becomes a thing.

ERIN: I'm calling it right now: Campbell's soup cans are the new mason jars. You're going to see these things at weddings next. I'm not worried about the taste of this cocktail because it's literally just tequila and apple juice, which I was practically raised on.

THE AFTER:

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NO ONE PUKED!!!

BuzzFeed

We even dove back in for seconds.

We were smitten!

Buzz
Feed

ERIN: It's honestly delicious if you sip around the sweater fuzz. I think I'll order one at the bar tonight.

RYAN: It was good. We actually both finished our drinks and proudly flaunted them as we walked back into work. I’m sure people thought we were drinking soup, but w/e.

IN CONCLUSION:

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- No one puked or got diarrhea (yet).

- Having said that, please do not drink salt water — even if Kristen Wiig dares you to — or you'll end up like that kid on Voyage of the Mimi.

- Tequila + any fruit juice = a combination so heavenly even sweater fuzz couldn't ruin it.

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