18 Times Your Soul Dies In Winter
Why do we live here?
When you wake up all warm and doughy in your bed and you can feel the icy fingers of winter waiting for you on the other side of the blanket.
When your sock slips off in your boot while you're walking and you just want to lay down and die.
When there's an unseasonably warm day and you think to yourself, "This is it! It's really over!" And — BAM! — you wake up the next day to -15 degree windchill.
When every cell on your body is so starved of moisture you're afraid if you even reach for lotion you'll crack and break into a million sad, dry pieces.
When you just need to run to the store to buy a quart of milk and it takes you thirty-five minutes and help from a friend to get your winter gear on.
When you wake up to pee and even the idea of touching your sweet, warm buns to the Arctic rim of the toilet seat sends shivers up your spine.
When it hits you that the last time your bare skin tasted golden drops of sunlight was fall.
When the salt-slick sole of your boot slips on black ice and you and your dignity tumble to the ground.
When you can't remember the last time you felt awake, excited, or alive.
When winter audibly scoffs at your attempts to have any semblance of control of your life. "HA!" says winter. "I am your god."
When you desperately try to make winter seem desirable and it just makes you more accutely aware of how bleak your life has become.
When it just feels like the entire world is against you and you're going to die alone, cold, and covered in snow.
When you're like, "It's cold out, but maybe I could actually still live my life today if I wear a lot of clothes and pretend I don't have any emotions" and winter is like "Lol."
When you go to extreme, dangerous lengths to dull the chill in the hollow of your frozen bones.
When winter pulls you down to deeply profound levels of loneliness.
When no part of you, body or soul, is spared from winter's wrath.
When you don't even value your own personal appearance anymore because winter has taken everything from you and nothing matters and what's the point.
And when something breaks inside of you and you can't even find the will to care anymore.
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