3.
BELLE: There goes the baker with his tray like always BAKER: well there goes Belle, singing her DAILY MEAN SONG about us
6.
A 90s Disney exec reclines with his feet on the conference table. He takes a few puffs from his cigar. "Goofy should have a dead wife."
8.
My favorite character in Beauty and the Beast is this dresser waiting to fuck up a villager with a baseball bat.
10.
*slams hands on table* HOW DID BUZZ KNOW TO FREEZE AROUND HUMANS IF HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A TOY, CAROL?
12.
14.
me: "why was she called the little mermaid, she was 5ft7?" therapist: "i meant anything bothering you about your marriage keith"
16.
Rapunzel's pubes must have been next level.
18.
I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.
21.
Can't believe how much Frozen merchandise there is for xmas this year. I've even seen an ad for a frozen turkey
24.
[pitch meeting] Okay so it's a ton of dogs. Dalmatians. 100 of 'em. I call it "100 Dalmatians." [idea man pipes in] Let's think bigger
27.
Watching so many Disney movies as a young girl gave me very unrealistic expectations about how majestically my hair should blow in the wind.
29.
Total bs that when Sleeping Beauty spends all day in bed she's a "beautiful princess," but when I do the same I'm "clinically depressed."
30.
"Be Our Guest" is a great song but at the same time it's a man candle telling a woman what a restaurant is
31.
