1. Can't sleep on your face.
2. Can't blow your nose in a satisfying way.
3. Can't thoroughly wash your face.
4. Can't sneeze without fear of disaster.
5. Can't pick your nose.
6. Can't yawn real big.
7. Can't make out with people.
8. Can't rub your face to express your exasperation to your peers.
9. Can't get the love and support of your parents.
10. Can't flare your nostrils for dramatic effect.
11. Can't eskimo kiss.
12. Can't bang your face against the wall.
13. Can't get a pie in the face.
14. Can't get in fights with ducks.
Even though ducks have it comin'.
15. Can't do whatever the heck this is:
I had no idea such a tiny piece of metal would impact my life so intensely.
But you CAN look fly as heck.
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