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25 Things That Will Inevitably Happen On New Year's Eve

We do the same dance every year. Here are the steps:

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1. Someone will wear something glittery and someone else will affectionately refer to them as The Ball.

2. Someone will struggle to open a bottle of champagne after confidently offering to do it.

3. Someone will talk about how AWFUL 2014 was and how GLAD they are it's finally over.

4. Someone will talk about how great 2015 will be because of some uncontrollable reason, like it's an odd number year or 15 is a lucky number in their family.

5. Someone will point out that there are still sooo many hours until midnight.


6. Someone will make everyone talk about their favorite 2014 memories and everyone will groan but when it's their turn they will actively participate because everyone likes talking about themselves.

7. Someone will slip on something and someone will playfully accuse them of being drunker than they are.

8. Someone will make a joke to the effect of, "Working out? I won't do that until NEXT YEAR!"

9. Someone will mention that it's already New Years in another part of the world and this is all completely arbitrary, what's the point.

10. Someone will suggest playing a drinking game to lighten the mood.

11. Someone will make a joke about kissing the family pet at midnight because they're single.

12. Someone will ask everyone about their New Years resolutions.

13. Everyone will loudly agree New Years resolutions are 100% bull shit, and then secretly promise themselves to watch less TV in 2015.

14. Someone will make a joke about TRL when Carson Daily comes on the screen.

15. Someone will say something solemn about Dick Clark.


16. Someone will announce they have to text their cool friends in another time zone to wish them a happy New Year.

17. Someone will yell "IT'S MIDNIGHT!" almost a full hour before it's actually midnight.

18. Someone will realize they can't stop the slow, steady march of time and they will sit quietly on the couch sipping their drink and staring into the middle distance.

19. Someone will suggest a "power hour" that will only last 20ish minutes.

20. Someone will talk about how nervous they are, despite the apparent lack of danger.

21. Someone will scream "IT'S STARTING!"

22. Everyone will chant the countdown out of sync and a little too quickly.

23. Everyone will yell "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" to the people they've been with all night, and hug as if they just saw each other for the first time.

24. Couples will kiss despite the excruciating cliche, but no one will get a surprise New Years kiss from their crush, that just doesn't happen, I'm sorry.

25. The new year will begin and it will feel startlingly similar to the old year.

Thumbnail image: Ingram Publishing / ThinkStock