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31 Things Every Office Worker Has Done At Some Point

If you say you've never cried at work you're lying.

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1. Fantasized about quitting.

2. Accidentally over-caffeinated to the point of mild heart palpitations.

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3. Used sick days for hangovers:

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4. Emailed the person sitting directly next to you.

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5. Mentally claimed a bathroom stall as your own and got pissed off when someone else was using it:

6. Wished death to the loud typers.

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7. Wished death to the lunch stealers.

8. Wished death to the sick people who come to work just to spread their germs.

9. Allowed work to pile up even though you knew you were making things worse for yourself in the long run.

10. Left your floor, department, or building to take a shit.

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11. Gotten territorial over office supplies.

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12. Looked forward to your co-workers birthdays' for completely selfish reasons.

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13. Let the elevator close even though you heard someone yelling "Wait!"

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14. Passive-aggressively ignored passive-aggressive signs in the kitchen.

15. Belonged to one of two groups: people who think the office is too damn cold or people who think the office is too damn hot.

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16. Had to google corporate acronyms.

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17. Sat in a bathroom stall to escape reality for five glorious minutes.

18. Procrastinated so deeply you came out the other side.

19. Let out a tiny little fart and hoped your co-workers would silently blame it on each other.

20. Gchatted your entire life away.

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21. Cried silently at your desk.

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22. Eaten a sad desk lunch.

23. Or eaten just snacks for a meal and wondered how you were still breathing at the end of the day.

24. Struggled to have a normal conversation with another adult human being while waiting for the elevator.

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25. Kept it PC for the sake of your job.

How to be a grown up at work: Replace "Fuck you" with "Ok, great"

26. Used a weird "phone voice" when you had to take a call and hoped none of your co-workers noticed.

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27. Curated a drawer of random crap.

28. Asked this question and was shocked when you got more than a one-word response.

29. Felt attracted to someone you work with based on proximity and not actual chemistry.

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30. Gotten into a fight with the copy machine.

31. Jumped directly into your bed the second you get home.

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