The 28 Most New Jersey Things To Ever Happen

“Yeah, screw you too.”

1. This baby-sized slice of ‘za.

Level of Jersey: Complaining about BENNYs at the shore but partying in NYC on the weekends.

2. This emergency can of hairspray in a restaurant bathroom.

Level of Jersey: Going to a bachelorette party in Atlantic City more than once a month.

3. This realistic benefactor.

Level of Jersey: Spotting a Real Housewife of New Jersey cast member at a Houston’s.

4. This gas station attendant who takes his job very seriously.

Level of Jersey: Asking someone at a gas station, “Wait, so do I pay first or pump first?” anytime you leave the state.

5. This NJ Transit commuter who’s just trying to pass the time between transfers.

Level of Jersey: Spending more time driving around a mall parking lot than actually shopping.

6. The names of these stuffed sandwiches.

Level of Jersey: Getting teary-eyed whenever Bruce comes on the radio.

7. This tough love sign:

Level of Jersey: Getting into arguments over whether it’s called Taylor ham or pork roll.

8. This old-school NJ vanity plate that’s dripping with snark.

Level of Jersey: Having at least three kids named Tony in your graduating class.

9. These creative Wildwood residents who aren’t going to a let a little thing like disability keep them off the boardwalk.

Level of Jersey: Having “Watch the tram car, please” stuck in your head for weeks.

10. This gentle reminder to please drive carefully.

Level of Jersey: Taking the bus to the city when you were in high school and not having any idea what to do when you got there.

11. This tweet from The Post.

Gov. Christie signs 'Tan Mom' law, banning children from tanning beds

— New York Post (@nypost)

New York Post


Gov. Christie signs ‘Tan Mom’ law, banning children from tanning beds

/ Via

Level of Jersey: Fist pumping at a bar in Hoboken as a form of self-parody, but then secretly enjoying it.

12. This hairdresser’s clever marketing technique.

Level of Jersey: Being able to see the New York skyline from some point in your county.

13. This organized crime.

Level of Jersey: Feeling differently about Christie after Sandy, but not admitting it out loud.

14. This girl wearing a top bun holding Taylor ham, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel with her fresh mani.

Level of Jersey: Knowing that the only response to “SPK?” is “Of course.”

15. This New York Times headline that sounds like an episode from The Sopranos.

Flickr / Paul Lowry / Via Flickr: 10039026@N03

Level of Jersey: Ordering disco fries at 2 a.m.

16. This creative graffiti artist.

Level of Jersey: Surfing in the summer and snowboarding in the winter without ever having to leave NJ.

17. This tweet from Kal Penn, who plays Kumar in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

Just heard someone use "Happy Mothers Day" as an insult, "Oh yeah? Happy Muthuz Day yuh so reedickylis YA AWFULL PERSON"#OnlyInNJ #NJ4Life

— Kal Penn (@kalpenn)

Kal Penn


Just heard someone use “Happy Mothers Day” as an insult, “Oh yeah? Happy Muthuz Day yuh so reedickylis YA AWFULL PERSON”#OnlyInNJ #NJ4Life

/ Via

Level of Jersey: Having more than one friend with a house on LBI.

18. This guy lint rolling his Mercedes.

Level of Jersey: Griping about Newark Airport but never considering flying out of JFK.

19. These unbelievable tweets from

Level of Jersey: Meeting someone from New Jersey and asking them “What exit?”

20. This sign that seems like a bit of a non sequitur.

Level of Jersey: Never really growing out of your Bon Jovi crush.

21. This rightful punishment.

Level of Jersey: Keeping a mental list of every celebrity that was born in NJ.

22. This unfortunate health risk.

Level of Jersey: Feeling oddly proud that Camden, N.J., is often cited as one of the most dangerous cities in the nation.

23. Apparently being the only state that celebrates Mischief Night.

Level of Jersey: Knowing it’s also called Cabbage Night or Gate Night, and waiting all year for it.

24. These shore residents that had strong feelings toward Jersey Shore.

Level of Jersey: Vehemently reminding people that the only original cast member of Jersey Shore who’s actually from NJ was Sammi Sweetheart, and she was arguably the least insane.

25. This diner that’s committed to its business, even in the midst of a natural disaster.

Level of Jersey: Doing everything in your power to avoid the Parkway between the months of June to August.

26. This touching tribute to the late James Gandolfini from the “Bada Bing” strip club.

Level of Jersey: Having lasagna at Thanksgiving.

27. This person who didn’t forget the meaning of “neighborhood” during Superstorm Sandy.

Level of Jersey: Seeing Jersey Boys on Broadway and giving it a standing ovation.

28. And this accurate T-shirt:

Level of Jersey: Generally not giving a fuck.

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