2. Tea calms you down, coffee turns you into a crazed caffeine lunatic.
Over-caffeinating can lead to feelings of impending doom. Life is doom-y enough WITHOUT caffeine-fueled existential freak-outs.
5. Certain teas have antioxidants that are believed to slow down the aging process.
On the left is Sir Patrick Stewart, an avid tea drinker. He’s 72 years old and has the complexion of a prepubescent dolphin. On the right is Sally.* She drank coffee once when she was nineteen and now she looks like this.
*Name changed to protect identity.
- Caitlyn Jenner told President Trump his administration's rollback of protections for transgender kids was a "disaster" 😳
- A Kansas man shot three people after allegedly yelling "get out of my country." He believed two of the victims were Middle Eastern, however they were not.
- The substance used to assassinate the half-brother of North Korea's leader has been identified as VX nerve agent, a chemical listed as a weapon of mass destruction.
- Former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords told Congress to "face your constituents," after a congressman used her 2011 shooting as justification for not holding a town hall.