2. Tea calms you down, coffee turns you into a crazed caffeine lunatic.
Over-caffeinating can lead to feelings of impending doom. Life is doom-y enough WITHOUT caffeine-fueled existential freak-outs.
5. Certain teas have antioxidants that are believed to slow down the aging process.
On the left is Sir Patrick Stewart, an avid tea drinker. He’s 72 years old and has the complexion of a prepubescent dolphin. On the right is Sally.* She drank coffee once when she was nineteen and now she looks like this.
*Name changed to protect identity.
- Donald Trump is the last Republican standing. Ohio Gov. John Kasich has ended his presidential run 🇺🇸
- Spelman and Morehouse — elite, historically black U.S. colleges — have again been forced to address sexual violence after an alleged gang rape.
- Alberta, Canada, has declared a provincial state of emergency over a massive fire near Fort McMurray. The area is under mandatory evacuation.