21 Struggles Of Being Raised By Hippies

What are Fruity Pebbles? Is that something you put in your terrarium?

1. As a kid, your breakfast cereals were never kooky, wacky, or silly. They were granola-y.


2. When you think back to how you once wore reusable cloth diapers you wonder if it qualifies as a moderate form of child abuse.


3. Fruit Roll-ups? That sounds like a fun childhood treat. You ate fruit leathers instead.


4. Most of your home decor was just objects your family found outside.


5. Your friends took vacations on airplanes to beaches. You got in the family van and drove into the woods.


6. You are still mystified at the reemergence of vinyl. Reemergence? When did it leave?


7. Need new shirts for school? Nonsense! Just dye the old ones!


8. Or—even better!—have mom sew you some!


9. Entire weekend days were devoted to the farmers’ market.


10. Or you ate whatever grew in your garden, which meant eating the same fruits and veggies for an entire season.


11. The only time you got to have fast food was when you were with a friend’s family, and it always made you feel guilty (or, let’s be real, sick).


12. Recycling was a religion. And if you ever defied it you were racked with guilt.


13. You got a lot of blank stares when you asked where the compost bin was at a friend’s house.


14. You always had to translate your parents’ weird slogans to your friend. No, “fracking” isn’t what it sounds like.


15. The girls in your family walked around shirtless in public until questionable ages.


16. Your fridge was always filled with unlabeled glass jars of mystery food.


17. You may or may not have attempted to start a family jam band at some point.


18. You visited a lot of doctors who weren’t exactly on your insurance plan.


19. You never seemed to be up on popular music but you somehow knew every word to Grateful Dead songs.


20. But your parents were and always will be the coolest people you know.

21. Which means you are probably pretty cool too.

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