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    Updated on Oct 4, 2018. Posted on Sep 29, 2018

    24 Thoughts I Had While Watching "Sex And The City" For The First Time

    I realize I'm the last person on earth to watch this series but I finally did it AND I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY.

    1. What the heck did Big do for a living? Buy money? Sell money?


    Rich people are so mysterious!

    2. Did Carrie introduce him to strangers as Mr. Big??? Did that not make him feel like a tool?


    "Yeah, you can just call me John???" — Big.

    3. I feel like...Samantha should have written the Sex and the City column since she was having the most sex in the city.


    Otherwise rename it to the Missionary Sex With a Bunch of Boring White Dudes and The City column

    4. Why do people always hate on Miranda when she is clearly the dopest character?


    Queen of bucket hats and early wave feminism!!!

    5. I literally screamed when Carrie said her apartment cost $750 a month.

    "Rent-controlled"? SINCE WHEN, THE DINOSAURS?

    6. How did Carrie and Samantha's friendship survive when Sam moved to the Meatpacking District? It's like 40 minutes away in a cab!

    You know our girl's not taking the dang subway.

    7. And that goes double for when Miranda moved to Brooklyn.


    I know they made a point of this in the series, but like, honestly, it's just not realistic! They should've become pen pals.

    *Editor's note: A coworker pointed out that Miranda is dressed like a Jedi in this pic. Just wanted you to have that mental image.

    8. Remember when that woman fell out the window and died?



    9. After Miranda and Steve got married, did Brady's name become Brady Hobbes-Brady?



    10. And if Aidan and Carrie had a baby would they have named them Brad so that their full name could be Brad Bradshaw-Shaw?


    I lie in bed thinking about this.

    11. Speaking of Aidan, Carrie cheated on him WHILE HE WAS REFINISHING HER FLOORS and we're all just supposed to continue watching the series like she isn't Satan incarnate?


    Honestly?????? Kinda couldn't stand her after that!

    12. Did Skipper die?


    Or disappear? Or evaporate? And — sidenote — didn't he kind of look like Tom Hanks' anxious cousin?

    13. The episode where Samantha dates Maria and everyone is weird about it? Not woke!


    "I'm not even sure that bisexuality exists. I think it's just a layover on the way to Gay Town." — A REAL LINE uttered by a woman who works as a professional SEX COLUMNIST.

    14. The episode where Samantha dates Chivon and then cries reverse-racism when his sister wants to keep them apart? Not woke!


    I cringed off my couch!

    15. The episode where Samantha picks a fight with trans women in her neighborhood and calls them awful names that I will not repeat on this good Christian website? SUPER NOT WOKE.


    This was within my lifetime!!! The '90s were ROUGH.

    16. How tf is Carrie afraid of SQUIRRELS? They're everywhere in New York!


    And compared to the rats, mice, and many varieties of cockroaches, squirrels are really the least of our problems.

    17. Robert and Miranda were the only good couple!


    Sue me!!!

    18. Remember when Samantha left a party she came to with Smith to go bang Richard and then Smith WAITED FOR HER TO BE DONE and IMMEDIATELY TOOK HER BACK?


    That was ... weird.

    19. What! Did! Smith! Get! Out! Of! This! Relationship!



    20. We never hear about Carrie's family. Where is she from? Does she have siblings?


    Is she in the witness protection program?

    21. Two questions here: 1) Who robs someone at gunpoint in broad daylight and 2) Are we really supposed to believe this man can identify Manolo Blahniks from feet away without checking the label?


    "Gimme your FUCKIN' Blahniks!"

    22. And how was this not the only pair of Monolo Blahniks she was robbed of???


    They literally wrote two whole episodes about people stealing Carrie's MBs. The girl's got bad luck with Blahniks!

    23. Is this fashion?


    I honestly do not know.

    24. How did these people even meet?


    I'm not saying it's impossible! I'm legitimately curious how a corporate lawyer, sex columnist, art gallery curator, and publicist bumped into each other and decided to be BFFs4E.

    25. And finally, I honestly need to know: Are we supposed to be happy that Carrie ended up with Big? They were both awful people to each other.


    Remember when they cheated on their wife/boyfriend together? A bunch of times? Uhh...ROMANTIC?

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