Buzz·Posted on Mar 31, 2014Ranking Every Hat Frank Rossitano Wears On "30 Rock"Seven seasons, 198 hats, one Frank Rossitano.by Erin ChackBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 198. Thick All images via NBC (Episode 6-9)—No. 197. Wet To Activate (Episode 4-3)—Frank, no. 196. Ho Ho Horny (Episode 2-9)—NO, Frank. BAD. 195. Horny (Episode 3-1)—*Weeps softly* Why, Frank? 194. Horny (Episode 3-1)—Frank... 193. Rods (Episode 1-9)—Maybe he has a lot of friends named Rodrick. 192. Feet (Episode 6-6)—Absolutely not. 191. Feet (Episode 6-7)—I said no. 190. Squeeze It (Episode 1-15)—I'll assume he means ketchup bottles. 189. Lips (Episode 2-5)—Mine are frowning at this hat. 188. Shower Scene (Episode 2-9)—As off-putting as the word "moist." 187. Balls (Episode 2-4)—*Sighs.* 186. High Score (Episode 1-12)—The video game reference may be consistent with the essence of the character, but I crave more. 185. Arcade Champ (Episode 1-4)—I don't doubt it. 184. 1,000,000 Points (Episode 1-14)—Pointy! 183. Acoustic Demo (Episode 5-4)—This feels very unFrank. Very unFrank indeed. 182. Wide and Tight (Episode 4-11)—What how. 181. VHS (Episode 3-16)—I'll be honest. I can't read that hat. I think it says VHS, but some internet sources say it reads VWD, which is a hereditary bleeding disorder. Both are upsetting, so let's move on. 180. Seemiller Grip (Episode 4-3)—Ping-Pong players know all the moves. 179. Rescue Team (Episode 2-13)—Yes, I am sure that trucker hats are standard-issue uniform for most emergency workers. 178. E.S.P. Tutor (Episode 1-8)—If Frank's oversized spectacles weren't enough to indicate his extra-sensory intelligence, now he has a hat to prove it. 177. Kill Screen (Episode 2-1)—Brb, renaming my punk band. 176. Coool As Ice (Episode 1-16)—The third O! WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 175. Mystery Solver (Episode 1-19)—Because the word "detective" is so overdone. 174. Alabama Legsweep (Episode 1-20)—Let me guess, this is a sex move? 173. Tandem Alert (Episode 5-18)—I'm just going to be real and admit that I don't know what this is. 172. Olé (Episode 2-7)—How...cultural? 171. Scanner (Episode 4-5)—I like this hat as much as I like actual scanners. 170. Coin-Operated (Episode 2-1)—Perhaps a great way to get free money from unsuspecting strangers, but who knows where they'll insert it. 169. Ready (Episode 2-2)—That's the spirit. 168. Beef (Episode 2-7)—Does he have a problem with someone or does he enjoy cow products? Does he have a problem with cow products? 167. Right Boot (Episode 2-7)—If he doesn't have a hat that says "Left Boot" I just don't know what to do with myself. 166. Defcon 50 (Episode 4-17)—Sounds serious. 165. Phase 3 (Episode 3-9)—Much better than phases 1 and 2. 164. Tornadic (Episode 6-5)—He is pretty twisted. 163. Ammnesia (Episode 7-3)—Perhaps he forgot how to spell? 162. Dot Matrix (Episode 5-17)—Too techy for my liking. 161. Code Breaker (Episode 5-16)—Not something you'd want to advertise on a hat, I would think? 160. Cryptid (Episode 6-10)—Frank very well could be a cryptid. 159. Long and Twisted (Episode 5-1)—iPhone ear buds! Volleyball nets in storage! A python with a sick mind! 158. Reverse Pendulum (Episode 3-14)—Don't get excited. It's not physics, it's a Ping-Pong serve. 157. Speed Glue (Episode 5-8)—Man, this guy loves Ping-Pong. 156. Two Fare Zone (Episode 3-13)—He clearly has expensive taste. 155. [Jumbled letters] (Episode 3-11)—Jkgkljw vkja aklj awkjg ak aolnva aoweotu? 154. First Class (Episode 4-6)—Somehow I'm not convinced. 153. Foley Artist (Episode 3-6)—He specializes in human digestion sounds, I bet. 152. Bronx Golf Club (Episode 3-6)—Ironic only because there's no way Frank plays golf, not because the Bronx doesn't have a golf course. 151. Kayfabe (Episode 2-8)—Mystifying wrestling jargon has no better place than on hats. 150. Long Pips (Episode 4-1)—Long pips refer to the style of Ping-Pong paddle some players use to get more topspin, but doesn't it sound like a venereal disease? 149. Last Shot First (Episode 4-17)—Film school mumbo jumbo, I'm assuming. 148. Under the Bottom (Episode 4-15)—Sounds low. 147. Harvard (Episode 2-8)—This is what Harvard students wear at graduation I heard. 146. Got It (Episode 2-7)—Happens to the best of us. Don't fret, Frankie. 145. Maintenance Required (Episode 6-16)—Thank you for the fair warning. 144. Inappropriate (Episode 7-8)—Thank you for the fairer warning. 143. Or (Episode 2-11)—Or what? TELL ME. 142. [Blank] (Episode 3-17)—It's like he's naked. 141. Delete (Episode 4-11)—For all of life's mistakes. 140. Pound for Pound (Episode 4-12)—Heavy. 139. Brain Masala (Episode 7-1)—It's a delicacy, just like Frank. 138. Busway (Episode 4-12)—Subway. Busway. Frank's way. 137. PG-25 (Episode 4-8)—I still feel like I was too young to see IT. 136. Soccer (Episode 4-10)—Setting means everything with this one. 135. Game Changer (Episode 3-17)—I like to imagine all he's talking about here is that moment while playing video games where you have to stand up, walk over to the console, and put in a new game. 134. Drapes (Episode 3-15)—Oh? 133. Drapes Carpet (Episode 3-20)—OH. 132. In Training (Episode 4-10)—Potty? Or bra? 131. Done Deal (Episode 1-2)—Strong. Commanding. Confident. Am I talking about Frank or his hat? Honestly, you should know the answer to this. 130. Emotional Friend (Episode 3-12)—Thank you for the warning, I will not bring up my recent breakup around you. 129. Flowers (Episode 3-19)—Who says Frank's not in touch with his feminine side? 128. Laser Disc (Episode 3-16)—Man, remember laser discs? They were like the love child of a vinyl record and and CD. Kitschy but lovable, not unlike Frank. 127. Kung Fu Beech (Episode 1-8)—Beech, as in the tree? Beech, as in a purposeful misspelling of "beach"? Beech, as in a vaguely racist pronunciation of "bitch"? You're a mystery, Mr. Rossitano. 126. Bigfoot Expert (Episode 1-4)—Big shoes to fill. 125. Semi Legal (Episode 7-4)—Those are the eyes of a man who's done some fully legal things. 124. All the Way (Episode 4-15)—He's a man of commitment, you can see it on his face (or, you know, read it on his hat). 123. Untitled (Episode 7-11)—Can't tell if this is genius or lazy. 122. TBD (Episode 4-18)—Ditto. 121. Alien Knight Force (Episode 1-21)—Sigh-fi. 120. Snake Biter (Episode 5-15)—Manly. 119. Power Tool (Episode 2-7)—There better be a gay bar with this name. 118. Dream Reader (Episode 5-11)—I believe you can get me through the night. 117. Good Pieces (Episode 4-20)—Let me guess: chicken thighs and breasts? Human thighs and breasts??? 116. Promotional Consideration (Episode 5-4)—Broke college kids, take note. 115. Your Ad Here (Episode 7-12)—Seriously, this guy understands capitalism. 114. Man Scent (Episode 5-12)—Seems a bit redundant. 113. Emoticon Illiterate (Episode 6-15)— :( 112. Ninja Expert (Episode 1-1)—The first time we lay eyes on this lovable meatball of a man he's wearing this hat. Was he really a ninja expert? Anything was possible back then. 111. Bad Ranch (Episode 6-18)—A dressing that's gone bad or a wayward farm? 110. Wet Tacos (Episode 5-13)—Barf. 109. Alien Abductee (Episode 3-2)—If people who were (")abducted(") were required to wear this hat, it would make choosing a seat on the subway much easier. 108. Lice Owner (Episode 7-4)—Again, a very practical hat. 107. 1 Card Monte (Episode 5-12)—There's a game I could actually win. 106. Role Model (Episode 3-4)—Clearly. 105. Night Chicks (Episode 3-7)—A sequel to the Wayans brothers' 2004 comedy White Chicks where the girls become prostitutes, I assume. 104. Butler School (Episode 6-16)—More like BUTTler school, am I right? 103. Not Guilty (Episode 4-2)—You can find me wearing this hat every time there's an empty sleeve of Oreos in the garbage. 102. Van With Man (Episode 5-23)—Very Yoda-esque sentence construction. I'll allow it. 101. Deli Meat (Episode 5-17)—Only Frank could make something so tasty sound so...coagulated. 100. Beef Ravioli (Episode 1-18)—Is there any other kind of ravioli? There shouldn't be. 99. Snow Ninja (Episode 3-17)—He only fights snow. 98. Burrito (Episode 2-8)—Is there anything more perfect in the entire world? 97. Disco Fries (Episode 4-1)—The pride of New Jersey and French fry enthusiasts everywhere. 96. Slo-Bot (Episode 2-15)—The idea that someone would invent a robot to do things slower than humans can just tickles me. 95. Karate Sluts (Episode 1-10)—We prefer the term "groupies." 94. Force Field (Episode 1-21)—A great hat to wear if you want to deter people from striking up a conversation with you. 93. UFO Cop (Episode 1-14)—I wonder how many speed (of light) tickets he's written. 92. Beef N Bean (Episode 1-10)—What are things you put in a delicious burrito for 200, Alex. 91. Fedora (Episode 3-19)—This is the only type of fedora that should be allowed. 90. Atomic Super Kick (Episode 1-18)—It sounds like an indie band's side project or a film about backyard wrestling, and I dig both. 89. 1st Time Flosser (Episode 7-5)—Logistically how many times can you wear this hat, though? 88. And (Episode 2-5)—Literally on the edge of my seat when I read this hat. 87. Karate Hockey (Episode 4-10)—The best hybrid sport since Frisbee golf. 86. I Tried (Episode 4-9)—And this hat succeeded. 85. Sumo Dog (Episode 2-14)—The imagery is TOO GOOD. 84. Read (Episode 2-14)—If you read this as "read" in the present tense, it's a cool reminder to pick up a book and expand your brain. If you read this as "read" in the past tense, it sounds like it happened one time and Frank made a hat to commemorate the momentous event. Both are awesome. 83. Mason Storm (Episode 4-12)—This is either a Steven Seagal character, a porn actress, or what happens when mason jars are on sale at Jo-Ann's. 82. Smells (Episode 1-11)—Who says Frank isn't considerate? He's wearing this hat for everyone born with anosmia. 81. Dial-Up Access (Episode 4-13)—~ So0o '90s ~ 80. Low Oil (Episode 6-16)—Very blue-collar fab. Or should I say, blue hoodie. 79. Tow Away Zone (Episode 4-16)—The lowest of lows. 78. Free Parking (Episode 4-16)—THE HIGHEST OF HIGHS! 77. Jobber (Episode 6-5)—I like this word better than "employee." 76. Touch Down (Episode 4-20)—#Sprots. 75. Teenage Grandpa (Episode 4-7)—Big, if true. 74. Closet Amish (Episode 6-1)—Bigger, if true. 73. Pocket Dialer (Episode 4-21)—So innocent yet so deeply disturbing. 72. Cream Sauce (Episode 5-8)—Such upsetting imagery. 71. Single (Episode 4-22)—Subtlety is sooo 2011. 70. Bottom Feeder (Episode 5-1)—This feels so right. 69. Hand Held (Episode 1-5)—*WINK* 68. Joystick Master (Episode 1-3)—*WINKS HARDER* 67. Handy Man (Episode 2-7)—*WINKS SO HARD EYELIDS BLEED* 66. I Did It (Episode 5-3)—Every toddler should own this hat. 65. Full Tank (Episode 5-8)—I know that feel. 64. Karate Prom (Episode 2-6)—If they don't play "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas on repeat for four hours, what are they even doing. 63. My First Hat (Episode 5-17)—Everything about this is adorable. 62. Busy Signal (Episode 5-19)—Wear this hat to family functions to avoid talking to your aunts. 61. Plumber College (Episode 5-19)—You could probably find an ironic version of this hat at Urban Outfitters. 60. Letters (Episode 7-6)—Meta. 59. Feelin' It (Episode 3-9)—Feelin' this HAT. 58. Extra Sausage (Episode 1-3)—I am ignoring the obvious double entendre and assuming this guy enjoys meat pizzas as much as I do. 57. I'm Cool (Episode 4-9)—The irony here is too good. 56. Pinball Mechanic (Episode 3-9)—This is one of those times I'm not sure if Frank made that hat or if he got it at his old job. 55. Peaked (Episode 6-4)—In my America, this hat would be required uniform for every person who says high school is the best time of your life. 54. Flip Phone Owner (Episode 6-5)—This is poetry. 53. Because (Episode 4-4)—Every mom should own this hat. 52. Why. (Episode 5-1)—See above. 51. Nap Partner (Episode 5-22)—Only Frank can make napping seem vaguely creepy. 50. Exactly (Episode 2-12)—Step 1: Wear this hat. Step 2: Make a very good point. Step 3: Lean back in chair and let the praise wash over you. 49. Liz Rocks (Episode 1-17)—SHE TOTALLY DOES! 48. Be Cool Liz (Episode 6-10)—But yeah, she could use a chill pill. 47. Over Easy (Episode 1-8)—Maybe he likes his eggs runny, or maybe he's done with floosy women. Both are cool. 46. Sort of Loaded (Episode 4-16)—Completely tipsy < sort of loaded. 45. Partial Foods (Episode 6-4)—Still edible in my book. 44. Spaceship Owner (Episode 4-2)—This is a subtle way to call oneself an alien and I dig it. 43. Suplex (Episode 6-10)—Such a gentle-sounding word for such a devastating wrestling move. 42. Dorm Food (Episode 6-12)—I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you. 41. VHS Repairer (Episode 6-14)—~ Vintage ~ 40. Hookie Mentor (Episode 6-20)—Where do I sign up? 39. Cured (Episode 6-21)—That's very reassuring. 38. Freshly Bathed (Episode 7-3)—Also very reassuring. 37. Time Travel Agent (Episode 1-16)—Just the right amount of whimsy. 36. Intestinal Fortitude (Episode 4-13)—We could all use a little more of this in our lives. 35. Going Stron (Episode 7-7)—I see what you did there. 34. Average Voltage (Episode 6-19)—I see what you did there. 33. Punch Ball (Episode 7-2)—I see what you did there. 32. Sdrawkcab (Episode 4-6)—.ereht did uoy tahw ees I 31. Regional Dishonor Society (Episode 5-15)—I am still seeing what you did there. 30. Straining Order (Episode 5-13)—I am continuing to see what you did there. 29. Crop Octagon (Episode 3-20)—Yes, still seeing it. You take a phrase and change a word to flip said phrase on its head. 28. Atlantis Lifeguard (Episode 2-8)—It's an effective form of comedy. 27. Former Cyclops (Episode 3-1)—Which you have obviously mastered. 26. Trap Do_r (Episode 2-13)—We fully appreciate your sense of humor. 25. Bahama Trapezoid (Episode 1-19)—Still seeing it. 24. Incompl_te (Episode 3-13)—Still seeing it. 23. Speling Expirt (Episode 2-14)—Seeing it and appreciating it. 22. Half Centaur (Episode 2-5)—OK, last one! Great job, everyone. Way to hang in there! 21. Shark Cop (Episode 4-6)—He takes a bite out of crime. 20. Space Karate (Episode 4-19)—Where no one can hear you "hi-yah." 19. Constant Craving (Episode 3-18)—SAME. 18. Panic Dream (Episode 7-11)—I related to this on a personal level, tbh. 17. Night Beast (Episode 4-11)—It hungers in the dark, not unlike drunk-me. 16. Mash Potatoes (Episode 1-18)—I read this as a command. MASH potatoes! MASH THEM! 15. Food Coma (Episode 5-18)—I think we can all agree this is the best kind of coma. 14. Push For Cheese (Episode 6-20)—Yes to cheese. No to cheese coming out of humans. 13. Extra Cheese (Episode 1-13)—Write this on my tombstone. 12. Cheese Gravy (Episode 5-12)—The only thing that could make Thanksgiving even more awesome than it currently is. 11. Cheese Soup (Episode 7-8)—Pour it directly down my throat, please and thank you. 10. Period (Episode 7-13)—This is the last hat Frank ever wore! What a beautiful, concise ending to very long hat saga. 9. Space Gravy (Episode 3-19)—I don't know what it means, but I absolutely love it. 8. Free Zits (Episode 7-2)—Gross. But so fitting! 7. Monster Truck Wrestling (Episode 4-17)—Ten out of ten would pay big bucks to see. 6. Taco Robot (Episode 7-12)—A robot that makes tacos or a taco-shaped robot? Write the script, Frank, I gotta know more. 5. Hug Stain (Episode 7-10)—Only Frank could make hugs a regrettable, greasy mess. And that's why this hat is so successful. 4. Volunteer Pilot (Episode 6-2)—Terrifying, but I love it. Like riding a roller coaster or when you purposely overdraw your bank account. 3. Field Hockey (Episode 2-4)—This hat is art. Tell me you don't feel emotions when you gaze upon this hat and I will call you a liar, sir. 2. Sitting Ovation (Episode 5-21)—When you want to say, "I appreciate you, but I also appreciate how comfortable this chair is." 1. Casual Flosser (Episode 5-22)—Casual flosser? You mean HUMAN BEING? This hat is me. This hat is you. This hat is all of us.