There's An Animal Called The Pink Fairy Armadillo, And I Have Some Questions

Whatareyouwhatareyouwhatareyouwhatareyou.

1. WHO DID THIS TO YOU?

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TELL ME THEIR NAME AND I WILL AVENGE YOU, SWEET UGLY BABY.

2. WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A PIECE OF SUSHI DESPERATELY TRYING TO RETURN TO THE OCEAN?

giphy.com / Via i.imgur.com, Danilsnegmb / Getty Images

YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT, YOU LIVE IN THE DESERT.

3. WHAT WIZARD RIPPED A SCAB OFF HIS OWN KNEE AND BONDED IT WITH DARK MAGIC TO A DEPRESSED MOLE TO CREATE YOU?

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I FEAR HIS POWER.

4. IS IT THE SHAME THAT DRIVES YOU UNDERGROUND?

giphy.com / Via wired.com

WE CAN GET YOU HELP.

5. WHY ARE YOU CALLED THE PINK FAIRY WHEN YOU ARE NOT THAT AT ALL?

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IS THIS WHAT IRONY IS?

6. I AM SO SORRY YOU LOOK LIKE THIS.

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I REALIZE THIS ISN'T A QUESTION.

7. HOW MANY WORMS DO I HAVE TO PAY YOU TO CLAW OUT MY EYES SO I CAN STOP SEEING YOU?

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I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN 13 DAYS.