21 Pointlessly Gendered Products

Can someone get me a keyboard for women? This unisex one is too big for my feminine hands.

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1. Hers and his ear plugs.

I couldn't figure out why loud noises were waking me up at night. And then I realized: The pieces of foam I jammed into my ear canal weren't PINK. Once I switched to pink ear plugs, I slept like a (female) baby.

5. Girls' clear tape.

stephaniestroh.com

Every time I tried to tape a picture of something I baked or cleaned into one of my pink scrapbooks with unisex tape, the scrapbook would burst into flames. But not with Just For Girl's Sellotape! Now the only thing that's burning is the steak I cook for my boyfriend (oopsie!).

6. Women's and men's shaving razors.

gratuitouslygendered.tumblr.com

It's a scientific fact that men's hair is 100 to 200 times thicker than women's due to their abounding testosterone and other manly juices. That's why you should never, ever shave with a men's razor if you're a lady. It'll take the skin clean off your shin. It's science.

8. Girls' energy drink.

misschia.tumblr.com

It can get so tiring being a hysterical, menstrual mess all the time. Thankfully there's an energy drink formulated especially for us girls. How else could we keep up the energy to bake and clean and cry all day?

9. Hair regrowth treatment for women and men.

Hair loss can be embarrassing, but not HALF as embarrassing as buying medication in a dark green box! Minoxidil solves that problem by offering the exact same product in an adorable lilac package (and for all you dumb boys out there, "lilac" means "purple." LOL!).

15. Blenders for women and men.

Men need a stronger blender so they can make smoothies thin enough to drink through their penises. That's how men drink, right? I didn't have a girl-microscope as a kid, so I never learned about biology.

18. Girls' and boys' baby toys.

thesocietypages.org

Even before your sexual organs have developed, it's so, so incredibly important to start gendering yourself. You don't want an old man to walk up to you when you're 3 days old and say, "What a cute little boy!" when he really means "girl," do you? That would be devastating. Might as well crawl back into your mother's womb, honestly.

Can someone please explain all of this to Riley?

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