1. HELLO. THIS IS MALTA:
Malta is a teeny-tiny country smack dab in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.
2. Yes, Malta is small, but that doesn't matter. You should think of it as a precious pearl in a vast sea of sapphire.
3. Like most islands, it's surrounded by water so blue you'll want to punch yourself in the face.
4. And obnoxiously cool natural features, like this rock bridge to heaven.
5. And they have tiny, colorful boats that'll make you feel mad. Why can't you have tiny, colorful boats? Probably because you're not in Malta.
6. Listen, I get that Malta isn't Italy or Greece or any of those sexy countries you've actually heard of, I'm just saying it still got it going on.
7. Yeah, Malta didn't invent pizza and or, like, democracy. No one is arguing it's the greatest country in the Mediterranean.
8. But it's still a pretty fucking cool country.
9. And you should know that. You should know that Malta exists, and it looks like THIS:
10. Look at this stupidly cute alley. Look at it. It's real. It exists.
11. Look at these lucky motherfuckers swimming in this natural pool. They're real too.
12. You can literally go here!
13. Like, uggghhhhhhhh.
14. kjhakjhvhkjahklajwhv kahgkajhvkljahg kjlavha.
