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31 Niles Crane Quotes To Live Your Life By

Niles gotta have it!

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1. Live with a healthy dose of fear:

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NILES: Last night, I dreamt my flour sack was abducted and the kidnappers started sending me muffins in the mail.

2. Don't be afraid to call people out:

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FRASIER: Niles, I would shave my head for you.

NILES: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

3. Experiment! Re-invent yourself!

NILES: I'm especially looking forward to something called the "munchies" stage. I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive zinfandel.
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NILES: I'm especially looking forward to something called the "munchies" stage. I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive zinfandel.

4. Love boldly:

NILES: It's my dog, my new best friend.
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NILES: It's my dog, my new best friend.

5. Allow yourself to feel the weight of things:

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NILES: Can I get a straw please?

CAFE WORKER: Oh, sorry, sir, that was the last one.

NILES: The last straw.

6. Be your own secret weapon:

NILES: My Taekwondo instructor tells me I'm just two moves away from becoming quite threatening.
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NILES: My Taekwondo instructor tells me I'm just two moves away from becoming quite threatening.

7. Know that education is a lifelong commitment:

FRASIER: I'm sorry, Niles. I was afraid you were trying to get a picture of my butt.NILES: How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia.
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FRASIER: I'm sorry, Niles. I was afraid you were trying to get a picture of my butt.

NILES: How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia.

8. Dream big:

NILES: All my life I have dreamed of one thing: the day I could go into a library and go to the card catalog and see my name under "mental illness."
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NILES: All my life I have dreamed of one thing: the day I could go into a library and go to the card catalog and see my name under "mental illness."

9. Stay true to yourself:

NILES: You know I don't lift.
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NILES: You know I don't lift.

10. Be accomodating:

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NILES: Maris never held hands. She had a slight webbing — made her self-conscious.

11. Have diverse hobbies:

FRASIER: What are your plans?NILES: Well, I thought I'd sit alone in my cavernous apartment while rocking back and forth while hugging my knees.
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FRASIER: What are your plans?

NILES: Well, I thought I'd sit alone in my cavernous apartment while rocking back and forth while hugging my knees.

12. Always be friendly:

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NILES: If she realizes we've recognized her, she'll be utterly humiliated. OH, ROZ!

13. Stay mindful:

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NILES: Hey, Frasier, am I dressed appropriately for something called Bananarama?

14. Take care of the ones you love:

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NILES: The city streets play havoc with her delicate little feet, so I have to go home and pumice her paw pads.

15. Never miss an opportunity:

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FRASIER: Oh, Niles, guess what thriving Seattle night spot is closing its doors.

NILES: Roz, you're moving?

16. People are counting on you, be reliable!

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NILES: I had my "fear of abandonment" workshop today and I've already been a no-show twice.

17. Live life to the fullest:

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NILES: "5:07..." This one's hard to read. Oh! Right. "Wept uncontrollably."

18. Stay on your toes:

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LILITH: Niles, sorry to hear your marriage ended in shambles.

NILES: Ditto.

19. Send strong signals:

NILES: That woman is flirting with me. This is my "I'm available" face.
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NILES: That woman is flirting with me. This is my "I'm available" face.

20. Live by a strict moral code:

NILES: You touched me. Now we have to get married.
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NILES: You touched me. Now we have to get married.

21. Let the little things go:

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NILES: God, that was 20 years ago. Nope, still can't laugh about it.

22. Stay on brand:

NILES: I have to watch the Super Bowl?
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NILES: I have to watch the Super Bowl?

23. Wreak havoc:

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NILES: We're not in trouble. We are trouble.

24. Face your fears:

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LILITH: Well, it's about an attraction that I thought was over and now I'm beginning to think maybe it's not.

NILES: Usually in my dreams this is where I try to run and can't.

25. Be relatable:

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NILES: Think of something comforting from childhood: a stuffed animal, a dog-eared copy of Middlemarch.

26. Allow a little drama into your life:

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NILES: Now I just want to die! *Dies*

27. Make it count:

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NILES: Oh, shut up, Frasier! THE ONLY THING MORE HOLLOW THAN YOUR PROTEST OF INNOCENCE IS YOUR BIG FAT HEAD.

28. Keep good company:

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ROZ: Do you see that obnoxious old lecher?

NILES: Well, you're going to have to be a lot more specific.

29. Stay one step ahead:

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NILES: Oh, really? I don't have that [night] marked.

FRASIER: Because I'm taking a date.

NILES: Isn't that nice? "The 11th expect desperate last-minute call..."

30. Reflect:

NILES: You've given me something to mull over during my herbal wrap.
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NILES: You've given me something to mull over during my herbal wrap.

31. And always, always, always open yourself up to new experiences:

NILES: Ooh, should we attempt a high five?
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NILES: Ooh, should we attempt a high five?

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