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31 Niles Crane Quotes To Live Your Life By

Niles gotta have it!

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1. Live with a healthy dose of fear:

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NILES: Last night, I dreamt my flour sack was abducted and the kidnappers started sending me muffins in the mail.

2. Don't be afraid to call people out:

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FRASIER: Niles, I would shave my head for you.

NILES: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

3. Experiment! Re-invent yourself!

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NILES: I'm especially looking forward to something called the "munchies" stage. I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive zinfandel.

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5. Allow yourself to feel the weight of things:

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NILES: Can I get a straw please?

CAFE WORKER: Oh, sorry, sir, that was the last one.

NILES: The last straw.

7. Know that education is a lifelong commitment:

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FRASIER: I'm sorry, Niles. I was afraid you were trying to get a picture of my butt.

NILES: How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia.

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12. Always be friendly:

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NILES: If she realizes we've recognized her, she'll be utterly humiliated. OH, ROZ!

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13. Stay mindful:

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NILES: Hey, Frasier, am I dressed appropriately for something called Bananarama?

15. Never miss an opportunity:

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FRASIER: Oh, Niles, guess what thriving Seattle night spot is closing its doors.

NILES: Roz, you're moving?

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17. Live life to the fullest:

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NILES: "5:07..." This one's hard to read. Oh! Right. "Wept uncontrollably."

18. Stay on your toes:

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LILITH: Niles, sorry to hear your marriage ended in shambles.

NILES: Ditto.

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21. Let the little things go:

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NILES: God, that was 20 years ago. Nope, still can't laugh about it.

23. Wreak havoc:

24. Face your fears:

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LILITH: Well, it's about an attraction that I thought was over and now I'm beginning to think maybe it's not.

NILES: Usually in my dreams this is where I try to run and can't.

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25. Be relatable:

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NILES: Think of something comforting from childhood: a stuffed animal, a dog-eared copy of Middlemarch.

26. Allow a little drama into your life:

27. Make it count:

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NILES: Oh, shut up, Frasier! THE ONLY THING MORE HOLLOW THAN YOUR PROTEST OF INNOCENCE IS YOUR BIG FAT HEAD.

28. Keep good company:

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ROZ: Do you see that obnoxious old lecher?

NILES: Well, you're going to have to be a lot more specific.

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29. Stay one step ahead:

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NILES: Oh, really? I don't have that [night] marked.

FRASIER: Because I'm taking a date.

NILES: Isn't that nice? "The 11th expect desperate last-minute call..."