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The Way Asparagus Grows Is Off-Putting And I Want You To See It

I am speechless.

OK, so you know what asparagus looks like, right?

Now close your eyes and ask yourself, "Do you know how asparagus grows?"

Did you think it grew on vines?

Did you think it grew on trees?

Or maybe you thought it grew in lil' bunches? (Same.)

Well I've got news for ya, bubs. ASPARGUS GROWS LIKE THIS:

Yeah, the spears just pop up like single ladies at a Beyoncé concert.

And if you let it keep growing, the spear will flower! IS THERE ANYTHING ASPARAGUS CAN'T DO?