1. No, dog. That's not how you take a nap.
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2. That's not how you eat your dinner.
3. Dog. This is not how you welcome your human home after a long day.
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4. You're supposed to stick your head out the window.
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5. This isn't how you play, dog. Try fetch.
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6. OK, maybe fetch is a little out of your league.
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7. Dogs don't pee like this.
8. How... how... did you even get into this position, dog?
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9. This is not how we go for walks.
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10. This is not how we beg for treats.
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11. And this is certainly not how we use the doggy door.
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12. Dog. YOU are supposed to protect the homestead.
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13. And that trap was for the raccoons.
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14. That's a great seal impression but you are a DOG, dog.
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15. Dog.
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16. Not how we go for rides.
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17. Not how we ask to come inside.
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18. Not what I meant when I said "sit."
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19. Dog?
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20. Are you OK?
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21. You don't look so good, dog. Maybe you should sit down.
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22. NOT like that, dog!
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23. Go play outside.
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24. Have a snack.
25. Go for a walk.
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26. DOG!
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27. Cut that OUT!
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28. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, DOG?
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29. All right. You win this time.
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