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21 Insane Things People Say To Avoid Bathroom Language

"Did you remember to wipe your peachy coocoo?"

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1. "My three-year-old son decided that since pee comes from his penis, poo must come from his 'poonis.' So now we all say poonis instead of butt."


4. "My grandmother came up with the term 'making rainbows' for peeing. I don’t know how, why, when or where she came up with it. Now I think about it, she might need to go to a doctor if her pee is more than the Y in ROYGBIV."

6. "My mom taught me that the polite terms for one's genitals were 'cookies' for testicles and 'twinkie' for vagina. You can imagine how confusing that got when someone asked me if I wanted a snack."


11. "Whenever somebody excuses themselves to use the restroom my son will wait until they’ve closed the door and then ask in a very loud voice, 'Are you going poopy?' He still does this. He just turned 21."

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14. "Every day I take a shit at the exact same time right after getting home. Now, whenever I poop in the afternoon, my family asks me, 'Is it 4 'oclock yet?' Or they’ll just ask, 'Is this your 4 o'clock?' as if I have some appointment."

15. "Biologically correct, but embarrassing to remember: My parents HATED baby talk and euphemisms so we were taught to say urinate and defecate instead of pee and poop. Imagine little three-year-old me saying 'Mommy, I have to defecate' in public."


21. "My grandmother referred to any genitalia as your 'teddy bear.' As in 'Do you need to wipe your teddy bear?' As a child it made stuffed animals seem particularly vulgar."

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