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21 Insane Things People Say To Avoid Bathroom Language

"Did you remember to wipe your peachy coocoo?"

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We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community, "Does your family have embarrassing terms for bathroom stuff?" Here are the best responses:

1. "My three-year-old son decided that since pee comes from his penis, poo must come from his 'poonis.' So now we all say poonis instead of butt." / Via Illumination Entertainment / Illumination Mac Guff

Submitted by kristykristykristy

2. "Peeing is teeteeing. Pooping is beebo-ing. And a private part is a tutu. Ballet class was really weird to me as a kid."

Submitted by mlbeatty426

3. "Whenever my dad farts he says he’s making 'butt goodies' fresh from the oven. Thanks, dad."

Submitted by pugsnotdrugs19

4. "My grandmother came up with the term 'making rainbows' for peeing. I don’t know how, why, when or where she came up with it. Now I think about it, she might need to go to a doctor if her pee is more than the Y in ROYGBIV." / Via Frederator Studios / Cartoon Network Studios

Submitted by elliepeppers

5. "If my dad farted it was always 'Who shot the bunny?!'"

Submitted by lisag48acb1024

6. "My mom taught me that the polite terms for one's genitals were 'cookies' for testicles and 'twinkie' for vagina. You can imagine how confusing that got when someone asked me if I wanted a snack."

7. "My Grandad always used to say, 'I’m off to shake hands with Nelson' before he went to the bathroom until my Mum forbid it. :’D"

Sumbitted by annazoehodge.

8. "My family says 'tweenie' for vagina; as in boys have weenies and girls have tweenies. Short for betweenies, of course." / Via Witt/Thomas/Harris Productions / Touchstone Television

9. "Growing up my mom called my vagina a mushroom. So growing up I'd hear and say stuff like, 'Oh, I need to wipe my mushroom' or 'Remember to wipe your mushroom.'"

Submitted by chelsaraes

10. "My dad would always exclaim after a fart that it was an 'old prison wound.' He’d also say, 'Did you hear that asshole? He was talking shit.'” / Via Disney / Pixar

Submitted by dustyea.

11. "Whenever somebody excuses themselves to use the restroom my son will wait until they’ve closed the door and then ask in a very loud voice, 'Are you going poopy?' He still does this. He just turned 21."

Submitted by jeffc49a9b559b

12. "Instead of saying diarrhea, my mom calls it PBS. As in 'Poopy Butt Syndrome.' PBS actually is a non-embarrassing way to say I guess."


Submitted by alexthegirl

13. "My best friend when I was in elementary school called privates her 'private property' and she would always say, 'Nobody can trespass there.'"

14. "Every day I take a shit at the exact same time right after getting home. Now, whenever I poop in the afternoon, my family asks me, 'Is it 4 'oclock yet?' Or they’ll just ask, 'Is this your 4 o'clock?' as if I have some appointment." / Via New Line Cinema

Submitted by juju9888

15. "Biologically correct, but embarrassing to remember: My parents HATED baby talk and euphemisms so we were taught to say urinate and defecate instead of pee and poop. Imagine little three-year-old me saying 'Mommy, I have to defecate' in public."

16. "For girls, my family refers to the nether regions as 'the good China.'”

17. "When my sister was very young she started calling diarrhea ‘penguins’ because it sounded like lots of penguins sliding off the ice into the water."

18. "Whenever I need to use the bathroom, I’ll say 'I’ve got a business class ticket to the Urination Station.' It’s sort of stuck after all these years."

Submitted by amberaquilina

19. "My 98-year-old, white-haired, 80-pound great aunt refers to lady parts as the 'peachy coo coo' and the other parts as 'peachy wa wa.'” / Via Ninetendo

Submitted by alyssaz4f9e7a104

20. "My family always called diarrhea ‘The glitters.’ It took me a long while to realize that wasn’t normal."

21. "My grandmother referred to any genitalia as your 'teddy bear.' As in 'Do you need to wipe your teddy bear?' As a child it made stuffed animals seem particularly vulgar." / Via Universal Pictures

Submitted by elises4583a7a21

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