1.
"Uhh...what happened last night?"
2.
"I feel like my brain is made of rocks and there are tiny men with tinier hammers breaking those rocks."
3.
"Ohhh, I can taste sadness."
4.
"I can't tell if I want to throw up or eat everything in sight."
5.
"Oh man, I think I kissed a dog at midnight last night."
6.
"I wish I could go back in time and untake those tequila shots."
7.
"If I lay very still it's almost like my brain isn't on fire."
8.
"Shhh. I just need a minute alone."
9.
"Does McDonald's deliver?"
10.
"Can someone get me an IV of red Gatorade, please?"
11.
"I smell like poor life choices."
12.
"Every beam of light stabbing my eyeholes is my enemy."
13.
"Has anyone seen my shirt?"
14.
"Whoever invented alcohol is a terrible person. A terrible, beautiful person."
15.
"Please just leave me here."
16.
"What a way to start the new year."
